What Dating Can Teach You about Sales

I'm single and fairly attractive, so I do a lot of dating. I would love to teach a class for guys on dating - I swear I could save the world! Wars would end! Peace and love would reign! But I'm also afraid no guy would show up for a dating class. None of them wants to admit he doesn't have any game. So, I'm going for a sales article. After all, dating is all about selling whether we want to admit it or not.

1.) Bring your A game. It starts with the first contact. If you are sloppy with spelling in your e-mail, if you post bad pictures on your dating profile, if you say you'll call and then don't, if you show up for a date dressed like a slob, it's over. Same in sales - give it your best from the very beginning. Pay attention to the details.

2.) Don't close too soon, but don't oversell. Don't try to get a commitment for a second date before the first one is over. Get to know her a little before you try to put the moves on her. Learn to pace. Same with customers - if they get the feeling that all you want to do is rush to closing, you'll lose them. All of us want to feel like the salesperson gives a damn about us. But you have to balance - you don't want to oversell and never close! Women like men who will take charge and move to the next step. Ask for the phone number, make the phone call, ask for the date. Same for sales - you have to know when it's time to make a recommendation and close the deal.

3.) Listen! Most men (yes, it's true) talk way too much on dates. They are trying to sell themselves. Women will sit there and nod and smile and the whole time they are thinking about escape. Conversation should not be one-sided! Ask about the woman! Women if you are babbling on about yourself more than half the time - same goes for you. Think balance. The same is true in sales - get the prospect talking. Ask questions. We all want to do business with people who seem genuinely interested in us.

4.) Don't appear desperate (even if you are). We all want love. Salespeople all want to make money. But no one wants to do business with someone who seems desperate. No one wants to date someone who isn't desired by others or who seems too clingy or needy. Just like no one wants to buy a product that no one else wants. Back off a little. Let your prospect have some breathing room. Don't inundate them with texts or phone calls or discount offers. Follow-up is crucial, but play it cool.

5.) But don't play it too cool. I love it when at the end of a date, a guy asks me out for the next one. This is a great way to see where everyone stands and it takes guts to do it face-to-face. However, I hate it when 5 minutes into the first date he asks me out for the next one. Ugh. One man I liked waited a month to ask me out again. It was too long and I turned him down. Don't appear over eager, but don't seem too disinterested. Same with sales - no one wants to be hounded, but we want sales people to be excited about the prospect of getting our business.

I'm not going to give you a set of "rules" because I think every prospect is different. Sometimes a date or a sales call goes so well, you can close the deal right then and there and it works beautifully. Most of the time, it's more like courtship. You have to move at the pace that works for the prospect. It depends on where they are in the buying cycle - are they just gathering information, testing the waters? Are they ready to decide? You have to pay close attention to their body language and their tone of voice. You have to listen and gather information. You have to not be so focused on what you want that you miss seeing what they want.

You also have to be okay with the fact that not every person you call on (or go out with) will be the right fit for you (or you for them). Everyone in sales has made a sale they later came to regret. They knew early on that this customer was going to be a problem, yet they didn't want to walk away from the business. (Lord knows, I have done this with dating! If I had only walked away when my gut told me to!) It is perfectly acceptable to walk away. The longer you are in sales, the better you get at this. You realize that 20% of the customers can bring you 80% of the problems, and you learn to avoid that 20% as much as you can. Sometimes not making the sale saves you more money in the long run.

If you can learn to listen, to truly be interested in your prospects, that alone will help you close more sales (and get more dates). And play a little hard to get - we all want what we can't have too easily.