8 Powerful processes to boost your work life

© Cheryl Hopkins, 5th Nov 2009

Let's cut the bull: Will these tips change your life over night?  Does a one time visit to the gym get you the perfect body?  No, but if you apply what the coach shows you, day after day, things improve and it’s the same with these tips. 

Tip 1: Clear out the crap

 

Fear… lack of confidence is the mother and father of all saboteurs; an amazing emotion it can save your life when in physical danger but all too often it pushes us into a corner of self-doubt and anxiety, suppressing our life choices… our desires.  How do you recognise it: it’s the voice that says “don’t be stupid, you can’t do that; you’re not ready; it’ll go wrong; you need to cover your arse; better keep your head down or else….”  It’s the incessant tightness in your chest, your gut, your throat... that feeling of dread that comes over you when you think about making a change or are faced with the unknown.  So, instead of trying to numb it out with a drink, food, the TV… how about facing it, once and for all, because when you do so you'll see what an illusion it really is.

There are many ways and aspects to transforming fear; I teach what I’ve personally tested and used, and I’ve been testing stuff out since I was 2 years of age (I’m 38 now)!  A key thing I’ve learned is that you have to deal with the fundamentals i.e. you have to change how you feel in your body when you feel fear and let go of the original injury that caused it in the first place; the very practical approaches below will begin to free you from fear's grasp: 

1) The next time you feel fear, anxiety even anger, stop what you’re doing and focus on your body; feel the physical sensations... the knot in your stomach, the lump in your throat... see where they want to move to… where they want to exit.  Breathe deeply.  It may feel weird at first, even ‘scary’, so experiment with this at home and then take it out and about… to the office.  As you watch your sensations, you’ll find that the feelings will eventually dissipate leaving you feeling stronger, more confident and in ‘control’, instead of having you reach for a diversion that leads you into a deeper hole. 

Tip 2: Cut the bull about efficiency...

I seriously doubt that anyone wakes up longing for their life to be more ‘effective’ yet plenty of companies… people tell us we need to be.  I think efficiency is about as inspiring as a lump of poo and what’s more it restricts us.  Why? Because in making it our aim we get captivated by 'what’s going wrong’; we focus virtually all our energy on our problems, setting off stress, conflict, de-motivation… is that being efficient?!

What truly drives us , what fuels our ‘efficiency’ is our joy… passion… enthusiasm; think about how focused you are… how helpful you are... how much clearer your thinking is when you’re doing something you enjoy... when you feel happy.  Surely it makes sense to get yourself into this state as much as possible in order to support your efforts:

1) So, do something that excites you… that you enjoy, every single day e.g. checking out locations for your next holiday, sitting in your garden, going to the gym, stopping to have a coffee on the way home, playing on your XBOX, your Wii… looking out at the birds or at a picture on your desk... whatever it is, connect with this energy every day and as often as you can throughout the day.  Take regular ‘happiness’ breaks; think those happy thoughts/day dream for 15 – 60 secs at a time, so you can get that ‘good’ feeling and then get on with what you were doing.  In addition to giving your body a lovely hit of serotonin, which is what the ‘high’ is, and clearing out stress in your system, you’re also creating new patterns of thinking, new pathways, so that 'happiness... enthusiasm' becomes your ‘normal’ way of being, instead of the same old ‘worry… life is shit… you’re to blame’ route that so many people get stuck in day after day.  It’s your choice; which is going to be more resourceful and effective for your life?

Tip 3: Create your life on a daily basis

  

You already create your life every day, it’s just that for many people it's solely based on responding to whatever is going on around them... getting hooked on the latest dramas.  Now, of course there are ‘issues’ that need your attention during the day but why is it that some people’s lives seem to be full of ‘Eastenders’ and others ‘Beverley Hills’?  Well, in short, we tend to get what we expect; ever had the feeling that everything was going to turn out OK and it did or thought this is going to be a disaster and it was? Why?

Well, a major contributor is a part of the brain called the Reticular Activation System (RAS); its job is to ONLY select data that matches the ‘life’ picture you've told it you want… it filters all the information coming in through your senses based on your thoughts, feelings and actions – your life map - and deletes approx 99.99995% of information that you receive every moment of the day.  So if your ‘life map’ says: ‘Life is a struggle, I never get what I want… I’m always last in the queue…’ guess what you’re RAS looks for?  Conversely, if you think ‘you’re fortunate, life always treats you well, you’re always getting opportunities…’ what do you think your RAS will look out for?

So, if you want to change your life… a situation, you need to paint a picture of what you want:

1) Every day: Write a 1 page summary entitled ‘My yummy life’ and fill it with all the details of your ideal life, as if you're living it now e.g. “I feel amazing, my work is going really well; I’ve just been promoted and my team are great people to work with… they just get on with the job…”  You write it in the present tense because it enables your RAS to start looking for evidence and solutions to create it.  Spend a max 15-20 mins on it, making it as detailed or big picture as you like but you must do it every day. Why?  Because it’ll begin to focus your brain... to create new neurological connections that look for ways for you to achieve this ‘ideal life’; it’s like setting your Sat Nav for destination X, without programming it you'll probably get lost… or waste a lot of time going round in circles, which is alot like life if you 'fail' to programme your 'wanted' choices.

And always write in the ‘positive’ i.e. ‘I feel relaxed, calm, in control ‘ as opposed to ‘I’m not stressed’… avoid the word ‘not’ because your brain does; test it ‘do not think of a blue elephant in yellow shoes’… what happened?  You had to think of it first before you could replace the image and so you’ve told your brain to go get the thing you want to avoid, hence always write "I want x" and in the present tense (as I'm living this now).  You can email me for an example.

Tip 4: Ask for help

Hmmm, a tough one this; asking for help, surely that’s like saying: “I’m not good enough, I can’t cope...” but of course it also recruits resources, expertise beyond your own, opens up possibilities making the ride a whole lot easier.  So, which view point is more helpful and it really does come down to your viewpoint?  In the past, I’ve been a great one for struggling... a gruelling challenge, believing it's the only way to achieve; to have a worthy victory... what bollocks!  It’s an insane and exhausting attitude, yet I see it around me on a daily basis because people have been conditioned into believing things like:  ‘life is a struggle… asking for help is for weaklings…. it’s unsafe to ask…’ but these types of ‘viewpoints’ just sabotage you so, it makes sense to clear them out:

1) So, go ask people for help! I usually get a very positive response because people like to feel valued, that their opinions and experience count; by being asked their view it's a confirmation that they’re knowledgeable, that their life has meaning and so they’re often only too happy to help. 

A word of warning: Take everything others say with a pinch of salt and that means my ideas too!  Why?  Because the information others are providing you is shaped by their life; their hopes, joys, pains, disappointments… it comes from their map of the world and, for many people, the rules they were told to play by as a child; rules that meant others would accept them.  This mishmash of rules is what many people have as their ‘world view’, so be aware of this and bear in mind point 2:

2) Only ask people that you want to emulate; who seem to be walking their talk… sharpening up their own game on a daily basis, because they’re the ones on the road to true success; they're far more aware of their own pitfalls and saboteurs and will be less likely to dump their crap on you, and can help you spots yours too.  Plus, why emulate someone that represents something different to what you want to create; would you ask someone who's broke to show you how to be a millionaire?.  Plus, avoid naysayers, they’re a dead weight around your neck and will pull you down; if there’s no one around you feel comfortable with, you can ask me for support or any other professional; just get the right person for you.

Tip 5: Get out there

 

Tying into tip 4; in fact all of the tips tie in together; you have to take a chance and speak up; to let people know who you are, what you’re about; what you want in life because it opens up possibilities: Having briefly mentioned that I write articles, I have the possibility of working with a major major bank.  After sharing some ideas around a process I use, I’ve just been asked to speak at an International conference!  You see, when you start to speak up a little, you sprinkle seeds; the more you plant, the more (success) you grow.

Tip 6: Follow the breadcrumbs

I believe that everything happens for a reason; that I create my own reality based on the way I think, feel and act; that in any moment I am making a choice or a request to the Universe we live in, to send me 'x' and that serendipity or coincidence are the little breadcrumbs, the sign-posts for the route I need to take.  E.g. I found my real mum after reading an article that flashed up on AOL and then checking the website it mentioned; it took me 10 minutes to find her after 28 years of being apart.  Having sent an email to the Women in Banking & Finance organisation, to attend one of their events, I happened to mention my passion/interest in developing more enjoyable and sustainable (effective) banking workplaces; 9 months later they asked me if I might wanted to deliver on their Personal Excellence Programme; I’ve now been selected.  These results came about so incredibly easily; of course I did some work, but they happened because I followed my hunches... my gut feel at the time.

1) So, when you get an idea, a thought, an image, even a feeling that excites you, in a flash, and then you quickly dismiss it as silly, pointless, off track… STOP!  This is a little sign from your intuition… your immensely powerful sub-conscious that sees the bigger picture of what you desire, and then sends you intel on which way to proceed; it’s rarely logical or in the timing or package/way you expect it to show up as but then if you already knew how to achieve 'x' you’d have done so by now, so I guess our little conscious/logical mind is less capable than we think.  So, follow those flashes, those feelings of excitement; test it out, a little at a time.

Tip 7: Make it a daily practice

How often do you clean your teeth, eat, wash…. sleep?  Daily, right?  Why?  Because if you miss these things out you suffer; you get toothache, you smell, you feel tired… life becomes hard work.  So guess what, these tips only work when you apply them on a daily basis.  Even if you decide to do your own thing, you’ll only reap what you sow because you’re creating new habits or ‘ways of being’ and the mind and body need to develop and adopt these new patterns, in the same way you mould a piece of clay; a bit at a time… it’ll stay in a lump without your hands working it!

Tip 8: Trust the process

If you keep digging up newly planted seedlings they’ll probably die; if you spend lots of time worrying about ‘when these tips will take effect by’ you’re pretty much doing the same thing.  For new roots to form you need to focus on applying your new tool(s) and letting things bed in by ‘just getting on with life’.  You need to be consistent and expect the results to take care of themselves; like cleaning your teeth, you do it and then get on with life, you don’t keep inspecting them.  I keep a daily journal where I literally list processes I’ve used and the day’s results/occurrences; sometimes is just a factual account, at other times I get massive insight into how my behaviours changed, how much better I feel... I list all the amazing new things I’ve gained because it helps me ‘keep score’/feel confident in the process whilst allowing it to work at its own pace; it might be a useful tool to use.

 

So, in conclusion:

I’ve written them pretty much in the order I apply them each day; of course, it’s a continuous process and there's no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way so just test them out.  You can start with one tip and test it for 2-3 weeks to see how you get on; and yes I do mean 2-3 weeks... treat it like a scientific experiment, as if your life depended on it, because it does :0)

Of course, you’ll get bigger results from our learning and development programs but these are a pretty good starting point; if you want more information please contact us.