Coach as Mischief Maker By Martha Lasley
What happens when clients don't make any progress toward their goals even after you've tried everything in the coaching toolbox? The obvious answer is to end the relationship or recommend therapy. But before giving up, why not shake things up?
Occasionally I've seen clients get really, really stuck, and I've been stuck a few times myself. More than a few times. Empathy is the most powerful experience I know for helping clients shift, but there are times when even loving empathy only helps clients spiral deeper into the abyss. If clients talk about the same issue week after week, without any sense of progress, and they're already seeing a therapist, why not rock the boat and try something radically different?
Dissatisfied with the effectiveness of therapy, Frank Farelly developed provocative therapy, a process that promotes transformation in people who struggle with chronic and recalcitrant behaviors. He plays the devil's advocate, court jester, or mischief maker by siding with the client's self-judgment, finding laughter in the absurdity, and puncturing old belief systems. Clowning with clients, without losing the sense of the sacred, he offers laughter as clients explore the edges of their limitations. The Latin word "provocare" literally means to "call forth", but safety comes first. Some of his interventions fly in the face of conventional therapy:
not paying attention
misconstruing the client's comments
joking
nonverbal mirroring
offering outrageous suggestions
making the client ludicrously responsible for absolutely everything that has happened in the past, present and future!
insisting they continue with the behavior even when they say they want to stop
Some of the language might include:
What's wrong with that?
If that happens you'll probably die.
It's your karma.
Sounds like a bad soap opera.
This has been going on for a decade? Three more decades should be about enough.
Whether they're shocked, shaken, confused, or angry, clients often have breakthroughs simply because Frank jolts them into discovering their own insights. Behaviors that seem so impossible to change suddenly become so repulsive that the client can't change their behavior fast enough. So that's Frank's way of rocking the boat, but what's yours?
Questions and Answers
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