Gender Confusion and naivety: finding Miss Daisy's missing penis

Posted: Apr 29, 2011 |Comments: 0 |

Naivety is a wonderful thing when life only makes complete sense with Kung fu Arcade games at the local cafe and Captain America on the television set. I had the distinct title of being the oldest of four brothers but I was also the smallest of them all in a rural town that only seemed to pro create the male specimen. I felt damn comfortable in such a protective environment and the only woman in my life was my dear mother that could overhaul a John Deer tractor and carry a truck shaft one her one shoulder.

Spot a lady and win a Mini Cooper but this seemed very unlikely because the men in town only drove Ford 250 and Dodge SUV hard bodies on our main road. These girls were a rare sight and when they were spotted their very peculiarity actually became unnoticed in that they actually helped us with the chores that were delegated to boys or young men. Fathers went so far as to give the first born girls a boys names on the day of their birth and allowed them to play rugby with us.

This was genderless society and the whole idea of procreation was not necessary to be explained to us because when God put daddies into a deep sleep girlies hopped of the rib wagon and had their existence thanks to God and the Old testament and boys comes from the mountain starting out as baboons. They were taken to Boons Barber shop where their tales were cut off and their bodies' shaven clean and delivered to the anticipating parents smelling of powder talk and petroleum jelly.

The little village only had a primary school and graduation meant the big old city and the hostel. Entering the city and getting registered at my new school my real awakening and education started regarding the anatomy of the woman. I started feeling an awkward hot flush feeling when I came close to girls that seemed in their multitude in this new school and a feeling of agitation bulged in my pants and disturbing thoughts of the loveliness of their lady legs. "You bloody faggot" I thought and feared hell if I could ever fancied the idea to stroke it. This was clearly an abnormal feeling because these were my mates and why in heavens sky would I like to fondle them.   

                     

One afternoon my roommates were playing cards and I joined in with them to play a game of poker.

It seemed like a normal deck of plastic coated cards but it had some picks on it. It displayed photos of naked girls. (Oh my god) What concerned me was that the girls in these pictures seemed to suffer of a condition of mall nutrition and mutilation. The ladies chests seemed inflated like the Ethiopian stomachs of kwashiorkor kids and oh golly they had no penises. Feeling highly disgusted with these vulgar pictures I dropped my pack and left straight away to the child guidance officer to report this evil.

In a fit of incredulous restraint of humour the guidance officer tried to explain to me that woman did not have penises and actually had a cavity where the penis fitted in perfectly for pleasure and procreation.

That afternoon when I left the office of the anti Christ teacher,  I needed to contend with a shattered metaphysical and epistemological universe that verged on the big question of the burning spear and the bottomless void that was to be found in the mystical space of a woman's thighs. The island was known as Vagina plains and prospects seemed dark and uncertain.

The exploration of this intricate situation helped me to create a wonderful new perspective on gender theory and a deeper understanding of the absurd.

Penetrating incomplete women is an act of violence therefore I abstain! 

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