How to Help your Child Do Well at School

“Time and tide wait for no man”. Before you know it, your little child is a teenager, then adult. Throughout this period, the bulk of their time is spent at school or college, and once they are teens, they are beginning to make choices for themselves.

If your child is doing well at school your job is easy. However, if not, it can be difficult when you feel, because you are not in the school with him, you have little control or motivational input in his education. Often the picture you only get to see is that of his homework tasks, and news of any misdemeanour. It is hard knowing what is really going on, and how you can do your absolute best to help him get the most he can out of the long time he has at school.

1. It’s important to make your child aware that what he does at school is important to you, and that you have a genuine interest in his welfare there. Most parents will admit that getting a child to talk about school can be like getting blood out of a stone. Look at the recurring conversations you have with your child. By this I mean, when your child gets home from school, or at dinner, do you say the same thing day after day, for example “how was your day at school?” or “what did you do at school?” Usually the reply will be “nothing” or “boring”. Once you identify these conversations you can break the cycle, choose something completely different to say, or totally avoid the subject all together, and then later on in the day, initiate a conversation along the lines of what he likes about school, or what he doesn’t like about school. Often, approaching a conversation in an indirect way allows a child the freedom to be more open. Something will pop into their head about an event that happened that day, and they will communicate it to you, so the subject of school is totally initiated by them.

2. Not only make your child aware that you are interested in what happens at school, but also make his teachers aware of this. Attend parents’ consultations, with a pre-prepared list of questions. It’s all too easy to walk away having not asked a vital question because you felt rushed by the appointment system. Make his teachers aware that you want to support your child in his education, and that communication is important in that.

3. Communicating with teachers is not always easy when they are busy people. Often it is only at parents’ evenings you see them, but they are usually willing to discuss any issues that come up for your child at any time. Many schools have an email system. You can email the school office who can then forward your email on to the teacher’s direct email address. Such an email system can be very useful if, for example, your child is not communicating his homework tasks, or bringing school letters and announcements home.

4. Be aware of your child’s homework tasks, and be available to help him with it. You can support him with classwork as well. Many subjects have periodic tests, and if you know when these will be, then you can help your child prepare in advance for these. This can make all the difference to his overall achievement for the year, and his sense of confidence in his own abilities.

5. Check your child’s classwork regularly. Don’t leave it to parents’ evening to discover he has sat through months of, say, maths, and done very little. Regular checks will tell you where he needs help. Many children do not ask for help at school, so do not leave this responsibility to the teacher only. He or she is a busy person who has lots of children to track and motivate.

6. Many children find it very difficult to learn through books and find it even harder to express themselves through pen and paper. Your child may be excellent at recalling information through speaking, but not through writing. You can help your child by letting his teachers know this. With this information, they can possibly teach and test him using different methods, for example, using oral tests.

And finally, make sure your child has a balanced view of our world and its expectations. Schoolwork and passing exams isn’t the whole and only answer to success. Many of the most successful people did not succeed at school. Einstein was a poor student, preferring day-dreaming to studying, and was eventually expelled from school for being a disruptive influence. Yet he was nominated as the greatest creative genius of the 20th century.

Your role as parents is to stay informed, and to do what you can to support your child, without overt pressure. Pressure only serves to hinder and sometimes paralyse children who really do find academia a struggle. Your praise and support where necessary is what they need.