Choosing a life partner - the Biblical way

If you read the Bible from start to finish, you'll find only one occasion when someone actually
asked God what His will was while choosing a life partner for someone. That person was the
servant of Abraham sent to find a bride for Isaac. He asked God for a specific sign and God
answered his prayer (Gen.24:12:26).

Isaac got a bride according to God's will (even though he did not choose the bride himself). But we read later that this wife whom he had married based on God's will, fooled him by using their son Jacob (Gen.27). So this tells us that even if you get married according to God's will, if you or your spouse don't seek to obey God wholeheartedly later on, there will be problems.

In Gen.28 we read that Isaac called for Jacob, blessed him, and said, "You must not marry any of these Canaanite women. Instead, go at once to Paddan-aram, to the house of your grandfather Bethuel, and marry one of your uncle Laban's daughters."
Laban had two daughters, Isaac didn't see any problem in him marrying any one of them.
Jacob, like most young people today, wanted to marry Rachel as she had a good looking face while her elder sister Leah was cross eyed. He was tricked by his uncle Laban into marrying Leah whom he didn't like. He married Rachel later.

It was God's will for Jacob to have two wives (four actually). We know this because God chose to bring out 12 tribes from both his wives and their two servants. God would not have blessed them if they had disobeyed Him.

We know that it was not God's original will that a man should marry more than one wife because when He put Adam to sleep, he created just one wife for him - Eve and not half a dozen. In the Bible whenever we read of a man having two wives we always read of tensions in the house.

There are certain things that we can see from the incidents given above that can be made note of while choosing a life partner and living with that person later on:

1) You can ask for a sign from God.
Ask for an impossible sign. God cares for His children and
answers that way. This answered sign will be an anchor if storms arise in your marriage later on. God can't speak from the Bible telling you that you need to marry Bro.Tom or Sis.Jennifer.

2) You can marry a person without even meeting him/her like Isaac or like our grandparents did in the olden days and still have a happy life if you stick to the vows you make on wedding day and are faithful to your spouse till death separates you both. May be you can delegate this task of hunting a life partner for you to your parents.

You don't need to go on a date to find out how a person is. You can be cleverly fooled. We read in the Bible that Isaac loved the girl whom he did not choose himself or date to get to know her better very much (Gen.24:67).

3) You should not ill treat your spouse in any way if he/she has been forced on you by your
parents or by circumstances or if you ended up marrying him/her due to trickery from their side.
That person who was not your choice originally is God's choice for you now so treat him/her with
respect and give him/her a lot of love. Your marriage life will then be like heaven on earth.

4) Like Leah, if your spouse has a visible handicap, whatever it may be, caused before marriage or after, ignore it.
You need to understand, that God has created all of us as He wanted to. Never ever make your partner feel that you are ashamed of being seen with him/her while getting out of your apartment and walking on the streets.
If Jacob had loved both Leah and Rachel equally, they would have lived happily ever after instead there were only tensions in the house.
God doesn't need much time to make you handicapped too. If God had decided, one fine day, He could have made a storm blow a grain of sand into one of Jacob's eyes while he was grazing cattle and after rubbing it he may have ended with just one eye. When he would overhear someone saying, "There goes one-eyed Jacob," behind his back he would have realized what it feels like to be handicapped and having mean people pass insensitive comments.

5) Listen to the advice that Isaac gave to his son about not marrying a girl who did not follow
the same God they followed.
Don't marry an unbeliever. The Bible is very clear about this (2 Cor.6:14). It will only lead to
a lot of problems for you and your children.

6) Don't look for the prettiest looking girl or the most good looking boy.
Isaac didn't tell Jacob to marry Laban's prettiest daughter. Parents do that today. While
choosing a girl for her son, the things a mother asks are:
a) is she good looking? b) is her skin color fair? c) is she slim? d) is she from a well to
do family?
There may be a brother sitting in your church, whom your parents may not value much due to his status in society or lack of education who may be God's choice for you.
The reason there are a lot of unmarried people in our churches is because of the egos of their parents and their own 'great' expectations.
So if you're getting old, and have not found a life partner, just look around the next time you
go to church.
The wealthy Boaz married one of the laborers who used to work in his fields (Ruth). His father
Salmon married Rahab who used to be a prostitute once. God blessed both these humble men and they ended up becoming the great grandfathers of Jesus (Lk.3:32). If only we learn to be humble and to respect all the brothers and sisters in our church, knowing that we have the same Father, things will be so different. You can never know what a person can become. Most of the billionaires of this world came from a humble background.

7) Look for just one thing
Like Abraham and Isaac, ask yourself, "Does that person worship the God I worship?"
If you can find a true worshiper, you'll be a very fortunate person. These days there are a lot of posers even in church. That is why it is necessary to make time and attend cell group meetings held on week days if your church is large. Cell group meetings are not meant for you to just sit and pray or to study the Bible. You can pray at home (without trying to impress anybody) and you can study the Bible better by using resources from the net. The meeting may be boring as the cell group leader didn't take time to study God's word before coming. But there will still be one advantage of attending such meetings. You'll get to know how people are by their behavior. A tree is known by its fruit. A person can't hide his/her true self for long and one day you'll get to know a person's true nature.