Don’t badmouth yourself either.
Jewish wisdom teaches that in addition to not slandering others, we must not slander ourselves either. Mild self-deprecation is one thing, but broadcasting your shortcomings or slamming yourself verbally may lead to feelings of self-loathing. Your negativity may also make others avoid you. Use your awareness of your weakness as a stimulus for growth, and tell yourself that you can and will do better, one day at a time.
Change the subject when gossip begins
Whipping out your family photos or looking for the earliest opportunity to change the subject may derail the gossip train. And even if the gossiper finds a more willing ear elsewhere, at least you won't have been an accomplice. Stuck listening to gossip with no visible means of escape? Don't criticize the gossiper; just try to suggest a happier topic as soon as possible.
Be careful with praise
Praising the beauty of a friend's new diamond necklace in front of a third party who could not afford such a thing could easily create feelings of envy and resentment. Congratulating a new mother on her baby can bring tremendous pain if said in front of a childless couple. Look around before you lavish praise or congratulations. Others are listening.
As we remember that words can hurt, we need to remember that we should “treat others like we want to be treated”. In order to do that, we need to think before we speak; and not let our thoughts and words just start running out loud. Most of us have been hurt by gossip. We can avoid hurting others by changing the subject when someone starts to gossip about a person.
By using kind words with people and giving praise, we can lift many people’s spirits. We all know people who are pleasant to be around because they always speak gently, calmly, and kindly. It seems as though they always have something good to say to us and about us, which always makes us feel special. Keeping that in mind with others, we can also make people feel good. We must be careful with praise so people believe we are genuine. It is necessary to remember ourselves with kindness, so we won’t damage our self esteem. It’s not hard to use kinder speech if we think about it. We can make the world a nicer, kinder place.
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