Confessions From a Fallen Angel

What if I offered you two strange looking pills, the first a brightly yellow colored oval shaped capsule/ and the second a dark mysterious midnight blue tablet. I am offering both to you right now. Each taste the very same, and both 99% fat free, with zero carbs. I offer them to you for the price of your time. Any questions? Okay I am hearing some questions. I will try to answer as many as time allows: The yellow one if you choose to take it will give you short term perspective, satisfaction, and ecstatic emotions in unarranged time gobbling items. The midnight blue will give you no short term gain, no immediate satisfaction, nor will it give you ecstatic emotions. But it will give you reasoning, conscience, and sacrifice. Which pill are you going to take, the lovely yellow or the midnight blue. Everyday for my life I choose to get up and swallow which pill I will have for that very day. Its almost a conscious process now but for the majority of it I had a sign in my bathroom stating the words “attitude” and “integrity’ and while they served as friendly reminders to live my life with integrity and a positive attitude I admit that there are some days I wake up and feel as though the yellow pill has been thrown down my throat. There are days that I don’t feel like being the “positive, friendly, and outgoing Sarah” there has been a lot more of those lately. As a result of taking the yellow pill, I have had some wonderful short lived moments which If I could take them back I would. But I can’t, nor can you. We can only learn from our outcomes and start changing which pill we are taking. This has given me the opportunity to examine my life and which pill I am swallowing. It’s easy to take care of the immediate emotion, email, phone call, paper work etc and not get anything done or things done poorly. But it’s only easy in the beginning in the end it’s hard because more often than not you have to go back and re-fix all the mistakes you’ve done. Action should only stem from an attitude of love, integrity, and service. Action shouldn’t be undertaken if you are not at your best, and living at your best. This doesn’t mean that you hold of from doing what is right. Far from it, just because yesterday you did what was wrong, you made a wrong decision, you spoke poorly to someone you respect. It means you must digest that pill, get it out of your system before the next day when you will choose to take the right pill. What are your confessions from today/ this week/ this year that you wish you hadn’t done? Let it all out on paper, step up and confess. Telling yourself the truth is the first step toward a profound life. Everyone that has ever achieved lasting success does so by being truthful with them. They don’t make it to the top without making many blunders, and by taking the yellow pill some days. They make it to the top by their truthfulness, and their willingness to choose the blue pill, the pill of love, integrity, attitude and service. If you have gone on now for several days/ months/ years or century’s taking the wrong pill then confess all you’ve done to nobody else but yourself. Be honest, where did you fall short. I promise you when you begin to get all the mental and emotional garbage out that you are carrying from the past out on paper you will feel so much better. When you slip up at times, learn from it and tell yourself then and there that its okay it won’t happen next time. (Like the diet slip up) and then it does you are actually hurting yourself worth, your integrity, and your esteem. Your standards slip and gradually over time it becomes automatic for you to take the yellow pill. I want you to realize that you have another shot tomorrow to decide on whether that day is going to be a day where you are empowered, benevolent, and a role model for others. And if you slip up, slip up but get up dust yourself off and forge through to become a courageous and persistent person. You can either learn from your mistakes or make them work for you, or you can dwell upon the negatives of it. You can get up and get out of anything that life has bought to you. I believe you are so kind, so pure, and so unique at heart that if you truly knew the greatness that resides within you, it would bring you to tears. I wish I could describe this for you in words, but you must live it to experience it. Don’t look to the world for your answers, look to yourself for your answers. This is where the greatness resides. Sometimes we get so entrenched in the moment, that the scene that we are in at the time seems too real and feels as though it will never pass. Sometimes we get so entrenched in the emotion that its takes over and we loose sight of what is really important to us. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we can receive that we forget it’s not about us, it’s about giving. Although we are not actors in plays we have a similar experience happen to us as actors do, just as an actor has several scenes so doe we have several scenes in our life. The short sweet scenes seem to evaporate in mil-seconds whilst the long hard scenes take forever to chew through and feel like such a drudgery. We all have them, some good scenes throughout the day and some bad. The thing is not to let either of them tear you up or down to much. Realize that this too shall pass, and learn to look for the miracles in the bad. They are there hiding, that is where the games are found, in chunks of dirt. Because in the darkness there is still light, and in the light there is still darkness. You can not escape the scenes of your life. You can not be in the scene of your life and be thinking about the past nor the future. The scenes are there for reasons learn to look for the miracles in the dirt, there is gold there, there is miracles there. If only we have e the patience, discipline and tenacity to look for them. What role are you playing in your play? Are you the lead character, or hiding in the background as a backup person? We have to realize that the life we have got is the life that we have chosen on an unconscious level whether it is good, or bad, sad, or mad, ugly or beautiful on a deeper level our soul chose this. Your soul chose this so you get climb through it, not sabotage yourself and go backup. Your soul and the infinite universe want the very best for you; they want you to grow to your full stature. Wouldn’t it be a shame to come to this plant and perform at only half of what you are capable of. You shouldn’t perform at your best be sure that is what you think you need to do. You should perform to your best because that is what you want to do. Stop doing things for other, and start doing things for yourself. If you want to make a good presentation for your boss that is tops but don’t you think that you would have a better outcome giving the best presentation you can for yourself? For sure you will do better for yourself, if anything for your integrity. Keep one above the scenes, and scan for opportunity for opportunity. Opportunity wont come to you, you must search, scan and look for it/ Whilst you keep one eye below the scenes. At the kindness and the beauty behind all things and all people including you! You see there is the same seed in you as there is me, there is the same seed in everyone. The same seed was in Ralph Waldo Emerson, the same seed is in Anthony Robbins that same seed is in you! The seed that we have in us is already there, you don’t need to read a book on how to aquire it, or go to the latest seminar its already there. Learn to nuruture it, by bwatering it, and giving it sun and it will grow. The stature of the growth of your seed will be determained by the amount of time you spend thinking, emotuonalising, and dreaming about the growth of that very seed. The ction will take care of itself. They say time heals all things, but does it heal emotional, physical or financial setbacks? The longest days in my life are the winters, but occasionally while I am enjoying my spring or summer I will kindly be given a huge pile of setback. Something that makes me cringe, that makes me shrink, and makes me hide. I feel isolated and its at moments like this that I feel like giving up and running away to a lovely remote part of the world. If I was handed the setback in winter when I am working hard at it and seeing little results I wouldn’t mind. In winter the hard things are expected, that is the season for the cold to come. But when you get given one little setback in summer or spring you feel like your world is coming to an end and everything that can go wrong does. I have been blessed with what I feel to be well over a million troubles and challenges. Naturally I am an embitious person, I started Give yourself the gift of viewing your life and yourself internally the way you want them to be, if you want it, see it, believe it, and be it. Tommorrrow what pill will you take? The yellow, short term, instant results, and busyness? Or the blue, long term, sustainable results, balanced effort. You have the power, to get up, step out and be the person you were born to be. Believe it to be it! God bless, Sarah