Emotions Affect Outcomes: The power to spread happiness or create what we fear

Part 1:

The first thing you need to know is that emotions are contagious.  I don't mean from an anecdotal standpoint.  I mean from a neurological standpoint.  If you don't believe this, look at the picture of this baby and see if you feel compelled to smile.  If you still don't believe me, try this.  Get a partner and try to not show any emotions for seven seconds.  Then, ask your partner to put the biggest, goofiest, most sincere smile on their face as humanly possible.  What happens?  Even if you maintain your stone face, your body is crying out to exhibit the emotion of happiness.  Why is that?   It's because we have mirror neurons in our brains that mirror the emotions of the person sitting across from us.  It's in our DNA.  We are hardwired for emotion.

The second thing you need to know is that emotions create energy.  If you don't believe that this is true, think about a time when you walked into a tense situation.  Even though there was nothing overt that indicated tension, you knew immediately that something was wrong.  You may have thought, "The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife."  That feeling is the energy from the tense emotions in the room.  And that emotional energy affects outcomes.  So the next time you are carrying on a conversation with someone and you are feeling negative emotions, they will feel that energy no matter how positive your words are.

This is a powerful realization.  Number one, know that your emotions will "infect" everyone around you, for good or bad.  Number two, the emotions you feel during your encounters with others affect the outcome of that encounter. I discuss this in great detail in my book, The People Profit Connection, How Emotional Intelligence Can Maximize People Skills and Maximize Your Profits.

Check out this review in ENR, the premiere national magazine for the construction industry. http://brentdarnell.com/Portals/0/Users/PRs/ENR Review 10.31.pdf

Part 2:

When you are fearful about something, there is a great tendency to create that very thing.  But why is that? Athletes have always known this reality.  Picture this:  You are playing golf and about to hit a shot over water.  In your mind, you are thinking, "DON'T hit the shot in the water.  DON'T hit the shot in the water.  DON'T hit the shot in the water."  That is your biggest fear.  And what happens?  You hit the shot in the water.  Why does that happen?  Because your brain doesn't hear the word "don't".  It only hears the action.  It hears, "HIT THE SHOT IN THE WATER!"

Another example is from the workplace.  An employee is so afraid they will lose their job, they shut themselves down.  They don't offer any innovative ideas, they don't take any risks, they don't rock the boat at all.  And what happens?  Because they are not contributing, they are fired.

Negative emotional states create negative energy that affect others and affect outcomes.  This is based in neuroscience.  Emotions are contagious from a physiological point of view.  So what are you creating with your emotional states?  Are you more positive than negative?

Try this for a week.  Keep a log of your emotional states.  You can just put a plus or a minus.  If you are positive, optimistic, happy, put down a plus.  If you are negative, pessimistic, seeing the downside, put a minus.  What is your dominant style?

We are raised in a negative environment.  In a recent UCLA study, it was found that a one year old hears the word "NO" as many as 400 times per day.

As engineers, contractors, and other technical folks, we are taught to find the problems.  We are taught to find all of the ways something will not work so we can anticipate fixes.  That is what we are taught to do, to see the negative side.  That is how our brains work.  But are we inadvertently creating what we don't want?  It's worth thinking about!