Keeping Your Word
I think most people will agree that keeping your word is a good thing. I know that when someone tells me they are going to do something that will positively impact me in some way, I want them to follow through.
Yet, the flip side of this value of integrity can take you into a tailspin. I've spent many a coaching session with my most successful clients getting them to drop the rigidity of this seemingly positive quality.
Have I thoroughly confused you?
You see every personal value has a dark side when you go out of balance with it. I used to be over-the-top about integrity and it irritated my friends. They teasingly called me "The Integrity Police." I finally got it. I was so rigid about everyone telling the truth, keeping his or her word, being responsible and doing the right thing that I caused myself a lot of unnecessary pain.
Here's what I see as the way you can keep your word and have it be a super duper positive experience for everyone involved.
- Only commit to things that you truly want to do and have time to do.
- If you find that your commitment no longer feels good or there's not enough time to complete without stressing yourself out, tell the truth immediately to whomever you made the commitment.
- Keeping your word should feel compelling not like a heavy responsibility.
People fall down when they feel guilty if they don't keep their word even though doing so causes them to be negatively impacted. This serves nobody.
In business it's important to only offer that which you can easily and joyfully fulfill. This will make you over deliver every time and keep your team, customers, clients and vendors raving fans.
A dear friend of mine, Rich Fettke, long ago taught me the power of keeping your word. If I causally asked him for a favor or phone number at a party, within twenty-four hours he'd do whatever he promised. This blew me away because most people say, "Yes, we should get together" or "I promise I'll send you photos of this event" or "I'll give you that book next time I see you." And you don't hear from them until the next party.
But here's an interesting point about keeping your word…it's even more powerful when you mean what you say to yourself. Rich did this when he wrote his first book Extreme Success. He told himself that he would write a successful book and get a nice advance from a publisher. He did exactly that. What happened to him was not common at all for a first time published author.
Keeping your word is about making decisions and getting 100% behind those decisions. You do it because it jazzes you. It feels good. When I say I work 8am to 4pm, I mean it. I may go five or ten minutes over, but that's it. My mom watches my children while I work and she needs to know when I will take over. It's a done deal. Nothing ever unexpectedly happens to derail me from these hours (hasn't in over two years) because I am so clear that this is the way my life will be.
Use your word to support and uplift you and for no other reason. If you need to make a new decision after you make a promise to yourself or someone else, do so powerfully. Give yourself full permission to make decisions based on your higher good in each moment.
Last year, Rich wrote a rap song for my brother's birthday and I heard it. I knew I wanted one for my next birthday and made my request. On the eve of my birthday I received an email with a link to a recording of my special birthday rap. I had TOTALLY forgotten about it. Rich didn't. He is a man of his word and it's highly attractive.
It works the same way in business. Deliver the goods as you have promised and if there's a glitch, powerfully communicate what the person can expect next. Easy. Simple. Highly attractive.
Here's the words to Rich's birthday rap:
Yeah, Bo Beena
Sit back and lets me tell you
A cool li'l story
'Bout a woman with passion that's earned her glory,
Talkin action', attraction and prosperity
She's keeping it real -- peace, hope, clarity.
Oooooh ooooh
don't hold back, let it scream
Oooooh ooooh
turn it up, live the dream.
Who's this goddess I'm talkin' 'bout?
Let's just say she's got the clout.
A masterpeace she has created
a vision of the intention that she stated;
yeah she uses all that woo-woo
but keep in check your point of view, you
living good and living happy - ain't that how it's 'posed to be?
Bitchin' and whining just don't work, that's what she hopes you'll see.
Oooooh ooooh
don't hold back, let it scream
Oooooh ooooh
turn it up, live the dream.
Yeah I'm taking about you, Jeanna G -
Yaw shoulda known you'd be hearing from me.
I ain't one to break my word
Time to speak my mind, time to be heard
What I wanna say is all about you
It's how you live your life, let's review ...
A loving mom and caring spouse
bringing laughter and love into your house
And it don't matter -- air, water, snow
you're ready to rip and ready to go
Oooooh ooooh
Don't hold back, let it scream
Oooooh ooooh
Turn it up, live the dream.
Thanks to the Universe creating you.
What I'm saying, Jeanna G...is we love you.
Happy B Day. Goddess.
Out.
Questions and Answers
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