Overcome anxiety by building self-esteem
People with low self-esteem spend more of their thoughts on worries compared to people with high self-esteem. Worrying too much is not only tiring and depressing, it also prevents you from taking actions that would bring you towards success.
People with low self-esteem worry about what other people think about them. Ironically, these other people may not only be friends, colleagues and important people in positions of power (such as their boss), but it may even be people that they don't know and have never met. They may for example worry about what people may think about them if they go out with non-matching clothes, just like they worry about what their friends will think about them if they do not mention any exciting or "cool" things they have done in their life. People with high self-esteem worry much less about what others think. They don't mind going out in their pyjamas if they feel like it, and they don't worry that their acquaintances will consider them boring or stupid unless they present a certain image. People with high self- esteem know within themselves that they are already good enough regardless of what others think.
People with low self-esteem worry about not being good enough. They may feel stupid or incompetent in school or at their work. They feel that everybody else is much better than they are. This is not a problem for people with high self-esteem. They feel that as long as they do their best they will be good enough.
People with low self-esteem worry about their futures. They spend lots of time thinking about all the possible outcomes of a situation, worrying about how to cope in each specific case. "What if this happens, or what if that happens..." For the same reason, people with low self-esteem often find it very difficult to make up their minds about important life choices. "Should I apply for this job or should I stay with my current job? Should I move to this other city or should I stay? Should I break up with my partner or should I stay?" The future is unknown and therefore you cannot know whether you will like or not and whether you will be able to handle it. Staying with the current job, in the current location with the current partner is safe, even though other options are tempting. Because of this, people with low self-esteem often decide against changes and stay where they are in their lives. Consequently they are often missing many good opportunities to improve and develop. People with high self-esteem don't have to worry about what will happen because they feel competent enough to deal with any situation. They dare to take risks and find it easier to choose change.
Liv Miyagawa – The Self-Esteem Coach
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