Reconciliation of Inner Conflicts - Part 1

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Got a Question? Ask.

Road to nowhere???
By: 0035 | 21-08-2008
I am a man that?s 54 years old that got divorced in 2007 after 32 years of marriage. My wife ran off with a man that was one of my clients. They did not get married but are living together. Through the grapevine I heard that she said that the grass is not so green on the other side. Her lover were married for three times and he also had long term relationships with two other ladies, one from which an illegitimate child was born. My ex is now his number SIX .My daughter is 24 and my son is 30 years old. My son, stood by me, but my daughter sided with her mother and does not want any contact with me or her brother. She got married one month after leaving home with her mother and my wife's lover gave her away to her husband. This almost destroyed me. Neither I nor my son knew about this marriage and we never met her husband or attended the ceremony. The planning for the wedding was all done in secrecy. My daughter and I were often in conflict because she put terrible tattoos on her body, started to smoke and were involved with drugs and satanism while still at school. She was also sexually active since the 2nd year of her high school career being just 14/15 years old. I disapproved all of this but my ex wife was never prepared to openly take sides. I think that was because my daughter knew about her affair that was going on for almost 5 years. The divorce was a terrible time in my life but I managed to stand up and I?m facing the world again. This I got right with the support of my son and no other help. I will never take my ex wife back again although I will always say that she was a wonderful person until the panel beater came on the scene. I love dancing and a lady friend that came to me for dance classes in 2005 started to accompany me to functions for the last 3 months. We got along very well in 2005 but were always very professional in our dealings. She is almost 5 years older than what I am. She and her ex husband are both medical doctors. She walked out of a marriage after 29 years and had to start her life over 5 years ago. She is just surviving and there is no sign or hope of a life style that is normally associated with people with her training. She is turning 59 this year and there is just not enough time left to start a practice that will generate an above average income. I am a retired senior teacher at a high school and I now own a successful business on my own premises. I do not need to be supported by a woman. Within one month after I started seeing this lady friend, I discovered that I feel more for her as just being a dance partner. We could talk about many things and she made me feel special. A serious relationship started where even sex started to play a very important role. This woman gave me back the confidence that I for many years lacked in the bedroom. Both of us often said that we must wait and see where this will lead to. Every Sunday evening this lady friend of mine is upset about what happened between us. She then has a feeling of guilt about our behavior. This I cannot understand as we had the most wonderful times together in and outside the bedroom. She was never forced into a sexual relationship but it developed spontaneously between us. I thought we made ?adult? decisions. All of a sudden she said that we cannot go ahead with this as she feels too uncomfortable with it-this despite the fact that she was sexually active even before her marriage. She also told me that I was the only man she allowed in her bed for the last 10 years. For the last five years she has a very good lady friend that stays 200 meters from her townhouse. They own property together, they attend meetings together and see each other almost on a daily basis or talk on the phone. This woman is about the only friend she has. Then there is the specialist that she assist in the theatre for the last 12 years for which she has a lot of respect and admiration. He is a married man and about to retire at the end of December 2008. This is also upsetting her and she is now exploring various ways to generate an income for the rest of her life It seems to me that my presence was welcomed by her but now that she realizes that a relationship also bring responsibilities and obligations, she wants to back off. I feel that I also have to compete against this lady friend of hers for a place although she denies all of this. She now wants to stop with this relationship. While telling me her tears were flowing uncontrolled. Is she suppressing her feeling for protection or is it that her lady friend?s influence is stronger than mine. Under the new set of rules for being just a dance partner I feel that I will then be like a library book- taken out when needed. She is also not sure whether she believes in God, she does not like traveling, visiting friends and going out to a restaurant for dinner is of no importance to her. Dancing is the only thing that matters to her. She feels quite comfortable staying home doing the daily chores, keeping herself up to date with new medical information and being in a situation where you don?t have to dress up. I know that answers are not ready made for situations, but what is your opinion on this as an outsider? Should I carry on with this relationship under the new set of rules? Thanks for your comment. Regards Anonymous

Overdose
By: chibbley | 21-08-2008
last night i took 14 co codamol and 10 ibupofen tablets i wanted to end it all since last night i have slept and been sick quiet a lot what should i do

Is he gay
By: worried wife | 21-08-2008
i found outmy husband hasbeen making compulsiv e contact via mobile phone calls,texts and sending and recieving potos to several gay and trans sexual men over the last few months. he said that it was just a bit of naughty boy stuff and dident mean anything.i dont believe him and still dont,he told me its nothing to worry about but i cant get over it .we do not have an active relationship and am wondering about his sexuallity

Is there an online doctor of psychiatry I could ...
By: darla312 | 21-08-2008
Is there an online doctor of psychiatry I could speak to now?

I have been with my on and off boyfriend for 3 yrs ...
By: YN | 20-08-2008
I have been with my on and off boyfriend for 3 yrs. I am 23 yrs old and he is 29. He tends to come and go for weeks,and at times months and i don't understand why. We are have two different lifestyles, I am a student and work full time, he on the other hand is not financially situated. I have being patient,understanding,and have tried my hardest to show I care and love him. We are fine for weeks/months and then he vanishes and completely ignores me, even tough I make an effort to keep in touch. I feel he loves me,but why does he leave. I believe we need to have the "talk" and he agrees,but its never brought up after all. I know he was hurt in the past and that might have caused for him to not be verbally/emotionally expressive and I really don't know what to do;he has weakened me.

I feel like a failure at life
By: 091707 | 20-08-2008
I let stress get to me and I walked away form the woman I love so much and now I'm living back at my parents at 27 and I feel like my life is ruined. I left her over something so dumb and I feel ashamed and like a baby over the way I left. I don't know what to do anymore I just want to move forward but I feel as though I ruined my life. How do you let the past go and not dwell and regret. I get so caught up in could of would of should of and it eats me up. I just want to move forward in my life but I keep looking back. Basiclly I let the stress of a job I had eat me up I let her down and I let myself down and I feel like I am a failure. Any advice I would appreciate. I see people my age with thier lives all figured out and on track and I look at mine and I feel so ashamed of myself.

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Our Circles of Influence
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Principles of Highly Successful People
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The people who succeed follow some principles all the time. These principles shine like lights wherever they go and whatever they do. There is no deviation. There is no shortcut. There is the strait way. The principles set the direction whenever they want to go to their destination. Observing these principles keep them focused on the mission and prevents unnecessary interruptions.

More from Robert Elias Najemy

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A Fire in the Basement
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And, suddenly, there it is. The Self-Creating Light which manifests itself out of the darkness, out of the unmanifest. It comes forth shining alone in the darkness. From emptiness has come forth the ONE, the absolute.

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