The Secret to Career and Life Changes: Manage the Transitions

Remember when transition lenses first came out?  Well, I do.  The concept was great.  People who wore glasses prior to transition lenses were either cursed with squinting through life to keep the sun from hurting their eyes.  Or, they were cursed with the awkwardness of switching glasses when they left the outdoors; inevitably dropping one pair of glasses or something else they were carrying. 

But, it wasn’t all “rose-tinted” glasses.  No, glasses didn’t solve all the problems.  In fact, they created one.  The awkwardness of transitions itself.  And, this makes a great analogy for dealing with change.  

Why?  Because like the glasses, the hard part of dealing with change is the transition itself.  Like the glasses, whether inside or outside, you are comfortable with the current situation no matter how bad it is.  And, after the “transition”, the change occurred.  Your eyes adjusted.  You could see clearly either inside or outside.  You were comfortable with the new “state”, the change.

The difficult part was the phase when the glasses were changing.  Nothing was really clear.  So it is with changing or transitioning in career or life situations.  Many people are currently in this transition stage.  They have been downsized or forced to change jobs because others were downsized within their company.  Most people refer to this as change and bemoan how much they hate change.  But, in all fairness to change, its the transition that is killing them.   

In his book, Managing Transitions: Make the Most of Changes, William Bridges describes the three stages that all people experience when moving through change; the ending, neutral and new beginning stages.   How well we handle the transition between these stages greatly affects our attitude toward and ability to handle change. 

In the ending stage, what we know ends.  Whether or not the change was created by you or forced upon you, the current situation is ending (good or bad).   As a life coach I deal with many people who are basically unhappy or unfulfilled in their current jobs.  Yet, they stay because they “know” their job.  The unknown is what scares them.    

The next is the middle stage where you feel the full impact of the transition.  Here is where uncertainty about what will be rears its head.  Confusion about how you get to the other side and feelings of loss are prominent.  

The final stage is the new beginning stage.  Here processes and procedures become more apparent and the new state becomes more and more comfortable.  Here you come to accept the change as what is.  And, believe it or not, this will be the state in the future you will be fighting to keep the same.

Everyone gets through these stages in varying times.  And, based on what the change is our resistance and emotional ties to it will vary in intensity.  But we all get through them.  So, let’s look at a few things you can do to help make your transition into change as smooth as possible and come out on the other side with clear vision.  

Ending Stage:

The one constant in life is change.  No one is immune to change, and we all go through the same transition process.  It helps to realize its not the first or the last change you will have to go through.

Accept your feelings.  They are natural.  Allow yourself to contract into your feelings but not get lost in them.  Keep your perspective.  Do not over generalize your feelings.  The sky is not falling.

Prepare!  Look around for the signals of change,  Just like there are signs the seasons are changing, they are signs that your job, career and life are about to change to.  Don’t ignore the signs because you fear the change.  Change is a comin’!

Know what’s really changing. Take time to mourn your losses, but remember that not everything is changing. Find comfort in the things that are still the same.

The Middle Stage:

Gain clarity.  Whether it is direction from someone else or defining your own personal goals; take time to formulate plans, objectives and goals.  And, be ready to adjust.  Don’t try to make definitive plans to soon.  Remain flexible.

Check your attitude.  Resistance, negativity and self-pity will not make the change go away.  These will only keep you in this stage of confusion and uncertainty longer.

Take care of yourself. Workout, eat right and get plenty of rest.   Control what you can control.

New Beginning Stage:

Celebrate success.  Recognize the difficulty of getting through the transition stage.  Acknowledge the traits you posses and effort you put into it to make the change a success.  This will make you more accepting of change in the future.

Practice change.  Keep your skills sharp and build a positive attitude toward change.

Throughout the process talk or write about the process so keep perspective and learn from the process.  Reflecting back on the process will build your skills and confidence for the future.

Finally, remember these words by author Anais Nin:

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.