Travolta's Law

Here in England, it's summer. I know that for sure because the schools are out and everyone's in carefree mood.

What a pity then that for some it won't last. For, by some cruel act of scholastic planning, slap bang in the middle of the holidays, out come the end-of-school exam results.

Now, I don't know about you, but one of the worst tasks a trainer or coach has to face is going through failure with their trainees, for example, when they’re being coached for a qualification or exam. It's not just trying to come to terms with the consequences of the failure, it's about picking them up from the feelings of failure too.

OK, I know the theory. I've used it many times, not least on my three eldest children, who, in different ways, all "failed" to achieve what they wanted in their exams or career ambitions.

I've tried all of the following:

"Don't think "failure", think: "I've not succeeded yet."
or
"To try something you can't do, to fail, and try again; that's real success."
or
"It's only those who take a chance who fail."
or
"There's only two ways to fail: giving up or trying too hard."
or
"Every failure brings with it a gift in its hands."

Naturally, when you're standing there with your exam results in one hand and swallowing back the tears, that gift's a bit hard to make out.

That's why this year, on the occasion of my last child's school exam results, I'm preparing a different approach.

It comes from Jerry Zucker who calls this approach "Travolta's Law".

Jerry Zucker is a Hollywood producer and director. One day, he and his brother David and friend Jim Abrahams were having pie at Rumpelmeyer's Coffee Shop in New York on the day after their third movie "Top Secret" came out. Spread out around them on the coffee tables were the morning papers. The reviews of the movie were terrible and it was bombing at the box office. The trio were into some serious moping and self-flagellation when John Travolta walked in.

Jerry knew Travolta from his Paramount days and poured out his troubles to the movie star.

Travolta just smiled and said, "Guys, the thing you have to remember is that nobody else is paying as much attention to your failure as you are. You are the only ones obsessed with the importance of your own life. To everyone else, it's just a blip on the radar screen. So just move on. By the way, are you going to finish that pie?"

Jerry found the advice very liberating. It helped him come to terms with the reaction of the critics to "Top Secret" and encouraged him to move on. Not long after, he went on to produce the hilarious and very successful "Naked Gun" spoof films and one of my all-time favourites, "Ghost".

Now, when Jerry Zucker "fails", he just goes out, has a piece of pie, and saves a bit for John Travolta.

I really hope this year my daughter's results will be everything she hopes for. And her friends too.

But if they're not, oh well, I'll always have Travolta's Law to fall back on.