I fell in love with my gay teacher, things got complicated & I don't know if I should confess my feelings?
I fell in love with my gay teacher.. things got complicated and i dont know if i should confess my feelings?
So my junior year I fell in love with my gay teacher. We talked online a lot and I really grew a strong emotional bond to him. I have never felt the same way about another guy. I found myself absorbed in his presence and while we never did anything in school I always felt that he felt some sort of bond too. We became very good friends by the end of my junior year. When I became a senior things kind of flipped and I was stuck trying to forget about him. I mean it was a catholic school and I didn't know what the smartest thing would be to do. So I decided to try and forget him but everytime I got close he would send me a message or an e-mail. He was the technical director of all my plays and I was the lead and the student director so we often spent a lot of time together after hours.
The bond just grew so deep. I decided that when I graduated I would tell him how I feel. Unfortunately for me I have another gay friend that didn't go to my school and is a year younger. He's also a slut. One night after the play my friend came to see me and he slithered his way into my teacher's heart I feel that he was strongly attracted to my friend and I dont know what to do. I was afraid that I lost him so I decided not to say anything.
I graduated in May and I still occasionally talk to the teacher. It's hard because my feelings for him still haunt me. I can't kick him out of my mind. It's really painful at some times... it's been three years. I mean I have very good reasons for believeing that there wasa connection but I feel like the whole student teacher relationship built definate distance between us. I found out he's flirting with my gay friend. He's not even out of high school yet... which is technically illegal. I guess you can say im jealous but the thing is that I can't really help it. I mean my friend has the opportunity that I never had. He's from a different school and so the teacher risks nothing flirting with him. My school was in a small town and if anyone ever found out we dated even after my graduation, hed surely get fired.
Im really torn right now. I feel like I need to tell him how I feel. But im so afraid of being rejected. What do you guys think? Im sorry for the long story but it's hard to understand if you don't get the full scoop. Please help me decide.
3 years i've been a slave to him and I cant even be with another guy without thinking about him...
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