We all have personal networks – the groups of people who make up your professional and personal collection of friends, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. Unfortunately, we almost all also have people we used to know or were close to that we have lost track of or fallen out of touch with. Whether personally or professionally, I’m sure that this has happened to you and you look back with some amount of regret.
Let me ask you a question: “Are you doing things now to keep that from happening to some of the people in your current network?”
If not, you are doomed to these same regrets later on, when people you value and enjoy are no longer in your network.
If you want to change that outcome you need to consistently and consciously nurture your relationships. Here are ten things in no particular order you can do to build and support your network and keep connected to those people you’d like to be connected to!
Commit. Decide that you don’t want the “I wonder where they are and how they are doing?” regrets in the future. Make a decision to retain the relationships that matter and nurture your network.
Call them. Has it been awhile since you’ve talked with someone? Give them a call. No need to have an agenda or a reason (in fact it might be better than waiting to call until you “need something”). Just call to say hello and that you are thinking of them. It doesn’t need to be a long call. Be proactive and make that call.
Send a card. The alternative to the call is a card. Written cards are becoming so rare that they are becoming a more powerful tool in nurturing your network. A quick note of hello, thanks or congratulations can be huge. Nurture your network – and help the postal service – and send a card.
Learn about their interests. Know what they are interested in and send them things related to it. If your friend likes lighthouses and you see an article, send it. If your friend likes antique tractors, let them know when you see one for sale (that’s me by the way – if you know about antique John Deere stuff, let me know!). You don’t have to share their interests, just know them and forward information and ideas that you hear, see or read. (This is a great “excuse” for the call or to send a card!)
Learn more about their goals. When you know what other people want to achieve, you are in a better position to help them reach those goals. There likely will be ways you can help, but only if you know what they want. Ask your friends and colleagues what they want to achieve personally and professionally. Then, listen and look for ways to help.
Offer to help and then help. Once you know what they want, you may be able to help. Make that offer – and then make sure you do it! If you offer, do it.
Be a connector. Sharing ideas and information is great, but when you connect people with other people it can be extremely powerful. Introduce people to others that share interests or can help them reach a goal. You may know someone who shares their passion for hot peppers, introduce them. You may know someone who could be a Client or collaborator, make the introduction. Be a connector.
Follow-up. Perhaps the most important thing you can do is follow-up. Follow-up on the actions you’ve taken to make sure they helped; follow-up to make sure that people have actually connected when you have suggested it. Follow-up on all the commitments you make to others. Follow-up.
Don’t worry about you. Keep your focus on helping, aiding and supporting the other person. Let the Law of Reciprocity work for you. The seeds you plant by focusing on the other person will grow into great things for you, but never make that the reason for connecting. Connect to help the other person.
Do it now. I’ve written very little here that you don’t understand or haven’t heard before. The question is … are you doing it? None of these things are urgent, but they are very important. Start now. Connect or reconnect with someone today (and everyday). Whether you apply one of these ideas or one of a hundred others, just do it. The sooner the better. How about right now?
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Frequently Asked Questions
Weird son mother relationship
By: meme | 20-07-2008
I was just wondering if anyone has been through this before and how they handled it. My husband is a good man,father, and all around good person but his relationship with his mother seems a little strange to me, he is constantly calling her,sometimes refers to her a mommy,holds her hand in public and on several different occasions one when we were in public with my parents having dinner people were staring because he focused all attention on his mother making it a point to sit with her at the table and holding her hand, I felt as if he was on a date with her and from the looks we were receiving I think other people thought that to. He caters to her every need and rushes me through visits with my family so that we can go to her house (we live in the next state from them all). Does anyone have any advice for me my husband is in his forties and is not an only child nor the only boy....Is it just me or is this weird, he also baby talks to her, and now I am noticing he is doing the same thing to his two kids who are 11-14 (girl and boy).
Is anal sex legal everywhere?
By: Penny99 | 20-07-2008
Is anal sex legal everywhere in the world? (Between guys and girls I'm only interested in)
Will this relationship work?
By: Amanda34 | 20-07-2008
I am currently on a break with my bf of a year and a half, i love him and i know that he loves me too. we still act like a couple but we arent really official at the moment. he is 21 and needs to figure out his life which i can understand.He hasnt been to college yet. Im around him all the time which makes him put off everything he needs to do because he wants to spend time with me. But I have trust issues now because the guy i dated before my current lied to me, said we could be friends and possibly get back together and then he slept with my best friend.He understands I have trust issues or what not but he thinks that im taking everything a bit too far. its hard because we have been fighting alot, and im scared he will find someone new, but he promised me that he wouldnt, im always paranoid about things so we always fight...if i dont stop what im doing, i know that i will definatly lose him, and i dont want him. he is my first long term relationship.When we fight, we tell each other that we are "done" but we cant seem to really end it for good. We are attached, and we do love each other. Does this seem like a messed up relationship? Is this a relationship that wont work out? Or will I need to be able to trust again before this relationship will be okay again? Please tell me what you think!
Are relationships suppose to fade?
By: Amanda34 | 20-07-2008
I have been dating this guy for almost a year and a half. He is the first guy I had a relationship with, he was my first everything. At first, things were SO amazing. He did so much for me, he made me feel special,he said sweet things to me...I was the happiest girl in the world!!!!! He still does things for me and takes me out and all. But he doesnt really buy me things at random times(not that matters anyway), and he doesnt really do the sweet things so much anymore either..Are relationships suppose to fade? I mean I love him to death, but I kind of miss the way our relationship use to be at first. I dont know what I am suppose to expect because like I said he's the first guy Ive ever been with. A few people have said that a relationship wont stay the same way forever...But are they right?
Narcissism, childhood development and adolescent substance abuse/addiction
By: Kathy | 20-07-2008
What are some of the theories about the origin of the narcissistic personality? What is the developmental stage in relation to healthy narcissism? Is there a developmental breach or arresting in child development that takes place when a adult is diagnosed as narcissistic?
Is there a relationship between significant adolescent substance abuse/dependence and an adult having a narcissistic personality disorder? Would this happen as a result of an adolescent not effectively transcending a developmental milestone; in essense being stuck in normal childhood narcissism?
Keeping old phone number.
By: Donald B McGee | 20-07-2008
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