Hooked on Cruising (and I Like It!)

Oh My God! It’s official. Well, at least it’s unofficially official. I have a disorder. I’m a junkie. It’s called “Caribbean Obsession Disorder” (COD) and it’s described as

“an uncharacteristically and sometimes irresponsibly compelling drive to seek out sensory indulgence identified with the Caribbean culture - including music, scenery, fashion, food and habitat. Often accompanied by alcohol and other substance use, social and/or career lethargy, disregard for authority and rebellious (antisocial) behaviors against provincial standards and ideals.”

There’s more explanation for this disorder, but I think you get the picture.

I suppose it’s not surprising that someone actually has a name for this state of mind, after all our culture is obsessed with pigeon-holing EVERYTHING. But it is ironic that it is considered a disorder. Why couldn’t it be called “Caribbean Delight Affinity”, or “Stress Management Through Caribbean Meditations”? Ah well, whatever you call it, I have it. I display all the symptoms, most notably the “rebellious (antisocial) behaviors against provincial standards and ideals”.

I think about the Caribbean constantly, I design my life around getting my next fix, and I experience serious mood swings and irritation if I am deprived from breathing that magnificent air for more than a month or two. My heroes are Earnest Hemingway and Jimmy Buffet.

I spend so much time cruising in the Caribbean that some of my friends are starting to have conversations about me that include phrases like “running away from reality” and “just won’t grow up”, and “can’t seem to hold down a real job”. About the only people I know that don’t see anything weird about being addicted to spending beautiful luxurious days plowing the blue waters of the Caribbean are teenagers, romance novelists and a couple of aging explorers I met in Nassau who were pirates born 200 years too late.

Oh sure, lots of people LIKE the idea of cruising the Caribbean. What’s not to like? But, most grown-ups relegate it to a tiny slice of life, something that one does only when the “important” stuff is under control. A tiny little carrot that dangles tantalizingly from the sticks of careers and mortgages and “responsibilities”. Perish the thought that cruising itself could be important, or that it could make people more productive, or better parents or better members of society. That’s just not realistic! Well, I beg to differ.

You know, it wasn’t that long ago that responsible adults shook their heads in dismay at the number of kids “wasting their time” skateboarding on those plywood half-pikes that cropped up all over the place. Of course, that was pre-1995, before the massive financial windfall of the X-Games, where today, those very same “kids” command million-dollar endorsement fees and light up ESPN with their extraordinary aerial acrobatics.

In 1990, Kimberly and John Puckett took a backpacking vacation into the Alaskan wilderness and while drinking in the sensational view from atop Sable Mountain they conceived of the idea of creating a specialty coffee house patterned after ski lodges and Alaskan cabins. That “Aha!” moment, which was made possible because they indulged their fascination of wild and woolly nature, has grown into Caribou Coffee, the 2nd largest coffee chain in the US (Starbuck’s is first).

Reaching back in history a bit, we can remember the story of a young cartoonist who envisioned a “world” where cartoon characters could be brought to life in a fantasy environment of sheer child-hood delight. Walt Disney’s efforts to build Disneyland were ridiculed and criticized for years, even to the degree that his immediate family worried that he might have lost his grip on reality.

Well, seems to me that we could use a bit more of that flight from reality. And it also seems to me that gazing blissfully at a priceless Caribbean sunset is a fantastic vehicle in which to take that flight. What if the best way get in touch with the real meat of life is to remove oneself from the travails and pressure of that life. What if the perfect incubator for creating solutions and ideas to address vexing problems was the deck of a cruise ship, or a sandy white beach? I think we are missing the boat with regards to cruising in the Caribbean. Rather than dismissing it as an anti-social disorder, we should celebrate it as an essential activity that spawns true genius.

And in that vein, fellow adventurers, I proudly don the label of “COD”, and pledge myself to discovering and reporting back to the imprisoned masses, the magic of Caribbean waters, and sunsets and all that other wonderfully indulgent stuff. And more that that, I invite you to cast of the dispersions and judgments of those timid souls who measure the quality of their lives in terms of how big their car payment is or the square footage of their houses or how predictable their lives have become.

Yeah, it’s not always easy. Family and friends will wonder about your “crisis of identity”, employers will fret over your laid-back demeanor and credit card companies will scratch their heads in bewilderment that you refuse to be shackled by the gods of debt and credit ratings. It won’t be easy, at least to start. But here’s what you’ll get in exchange:

•Delightful moments, sometimes whole days of delightful moments, where the only stress is making sure the SPF of your sunscreen allows you to get a great tan.

•Beautiful blue water, majestic seas, lazy skies, and visual experiences that bury themselves deep in your soul rather than smog, pollution, stress, traffic, alarm clocks, beepers, ringing telephones, blinking computers, packed schedules, mindless news about the latest self-destructive celebrity and obscene political commercials 24-7.

•Somebody else waits on you hand and foot (for a change).

•A menu of adventures and experiences that you won’t have, or won’t have time for, in your current life. Things like diving, horseback riding, swimming with sting rays or dolphins, four-wheel drive explorations of rain forests and ancient ruins, parasailing.

•You’ll meet people that don’t want anything from you other than to make your acquaintance and maybe share a Corona.

•Romance, intimacy and sex. Of course, it helps if you take someone along that’s already comfortable getting naked with you, but some great love stories have written their opening chapter against the enchanted backdrop of Caribbean sunsets. (It’s also been reported that a Caribbean cruise is 97% more effective than prescription drugs for erectile… oh, maybe that’s too much information for some. But, the side effects are all good.)

•You’ll see things, and learn things, that will never get on your radar screen while slaving away in the Monday - thru – Friday world of car pools, office politics and soccer practice.

•You’ll discover a new meaning for “alone time”. It’s the kind of time that sits outside the pace of life, that defies logic, that lets you get in touch with the piece of yourself that lies slumbering inside you. You’ll have thoughts that surprise and delight you, and you’ll tickle your fantasies in ways that you haven’t tickled them since you were a kid.

Now, I ask you. How could ANY of that be a bad thing? C,mon, it’s time to trade in some of those other disorders you’ve got for one that really rocks! Get COD!

Happy Cruising!