The New Me in The Old LA

Three years ago I helped to produce a feature in Detroit. It's since been sold and since my introduction to working in film, I've fallen in love with the industry. 5 months ago, as sign from the dissolution of my 3 year relationship (my GF broke up with me over the phone and we lived together, yeah I know) I chucked the corporate sales job, hit the road, and set out to gamble my ambitions against my abilities.

I've been in the LA area for about two months, recently relocated from Chicago. I love Chicago and I am sure that I will also love LA. Keeping in mind that I did relocate here for "The Industry" (that means movies/TV/ yadda yadda yadda).I use that term now so people think i know what I am doing.

I am constantly getting asked what are the main differences, those that I have noticed since moving here.  The following is what I have so far:

1.) Chicago has amazing pizza, all kinds of varietals. Obviously they are famous for the historically Chicago Deep Dish Pizza, but they have delicious everything. LA has shit.

2.) While possessing a rich cultural city life and beautiful Lake Michigan, Chicago is relatively flat. LA has mountains, access to nature and varied terrain. I dig that.

3.) All the surrounding cities have Spanish names, but are pronounced with an Anglo influence. Deviating into the proper pronunciation will cause painful looks from locals dismissing you as an asshole. (e.g. San Pedro should be pronounced "San Pay-drro", here it is "San Pee-dro") I will note that I made a similar mistake in Illinois, pronouncing the name of the small town of Marseilles with the appropriate French inflection. It's actually pronounced Marr-sales. America man, America.

3.) Traveling in an airplane and landing in Chicago, you notice the cut of its spectacular city outline and the blue of Lake Michigan. When landing in LA,  it looks like God farted on the city multiple times and people are playing in it. Now, you don't notice it as much while actually in the city, but the psychological havoc its played with me since witnessing it won't be removed from my mind any time soon. I still have a hard time jogging, breathing in the city's ass cloud.

4.) Everybody is trying to milk you for something in LA. (This is industry specific)

Which leads me to an experience that had a big impact on my perception of this place:

My first week here I attended a birthday party for a friend who had relocated her three years ahead of me to work in the industry. We were at a restaurant in Los Feliz. The owner was total prick, he wouldn't let me pay my individual bar tab separately, but inferred that it had to be added to the collective group total. Which is total crap and when pressed, he failed to produce a logical, acceptable reason. Asshole.

Anyway, post-dinner, I began engaging in conversation with the waitress who had served us. She admitted that she was an aspiring actress and dancer who had just signed on with a reputable agent that she couldn't relate to me by name. We had hit i t off in conversation for about 30 minutes and I decided to go the distance and ask for her number.

I did the standard, " I know you probably never go out with guys who come here as a customer. So if you give me your number, I promise never to come in here again and when we go out, I won't take you anywhere where they serve alcohol." Of course it didn't work.

I don't know why, but I decided to satisfy my curiosity. Me, being a Producer (it's for real...kind of), I asked for her number on a professional level. Guess what? I got it. Along with it, I was also given her e-mail address and hours to contact. Why, you may ask? I'll tell you what I've discovered.

Women, well people, are insecure. (Women more so, but I'll say people). People need some kind of validation for their personal security most of the time. Well out here, in the "industry", that personal security that pre-occupies people on a regular basis is tied in directly to their professional security.

For instance, if an actress doesn't secure a role in the pilot that she really wanted she may feel she isn't pretty enough for the role. But that not being pretty enough, it's not just the role, it's life. Maybe she isn't pretty enough for anything? That may sound like an extreme example, but think about it- wouldn't that kind of professional rejection, if that rejection reflected a personal trait or aspect doubly sow doubt? I think it probably happens more than not.

Furthermore, people are always trying to milk everybody for that one opportunity that will make them a star. That means you can't afford not to make connections. Hence, getting those waitresses digits, she couldn't afford not to.

Now, that also leaves me with a very ethical consideration to make. These numbers that I collect for "professional" purposes, should I call them and try to maneuver under that premise? Well...I'm not there yet. And before anybody casts aspersions, keep in mind how low that lie is in the scheme of things compared to what guys usually say to get laid.

"You like mayonnaise...I love mayonnaise!"

"Coldplay's my favorite band to."

"You want the part? I'd love to give it to you but we've kind of filled it. Unless, there's something you can do that she can't....any ideas?"

Ethically, I'm not there yet. But, I haven't gotten laid in a few months.

I'll keep you posted.