What Keeps Relationships From Sinking?

Posted: Mar 10, 2011 |Comments: 0 |

Double dating can improve relationships. A study done at Wayne State University involved 60 heterosexual couples who'd been dating at least a year. Each couple filled out a questionnaire about their relationship. Then each couple spent time with a couple they didn't know. Half of the couples were given probing questions to discuss and half were given "small talk". Not only did 10 sets of probers make a date to get together again, but a second questionnaire a month later showed the probing couples felt closer than the small talking couples did. Maybe more probes, less "prob-lems".

Money is often a problem that affects marriage. According to 2011 research by Cornell University, the more financially independent a woman is, the less eager she is to get married. Workingwomen are 50% more likely to move in with their partner and 15% less likely to marry than women who don't work steadily. However, men who have above-average salaries are 26% more likely to get married than men with average salaries. Traditionally, men have earned more money than women, but by 2030 researchers believe the average woman will earn more than the average man – and the average marriage won't be average anymore.

Time together also affects marriage. A 2011 survey of 2,000 British adults discovered the "three-year glitch" – the time when couples started to take each other for granted. The poll compared feedback from those in short-term relationships (less than 3 years) with people who were married or in longer-term partnerships. Sixty-seven percent of all the participants said small irritations became major irritations after about 3 years. For example, those in younger relationships averaged 3 compliments weekly versus 1 compliment weekly after 3 years. However, the top 5 "irritations" were weight gain, money, working hours, hygiene and in-laws - from irritated to irate in 3 years.

The happiest relationships are those of young, married people who haven't started a family. That's according to a government-backed, British study tracking 40,000 households for 20 years. The study also found married couples are happier than their cohabitating peers, but women seem to experience a greater decline in happiness than men. The unhappiest relationships are those of couples with preschool children. However, those relationships become happier as the youngest child grows up. Nevertheless, of the 1,268 young people surveyed, 60% were "completely satisfied" with family life. Hopefully, half of that percentage was married to the other half.

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