How to improve Listening Skills

Listening Skills

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood"

This is a brief introduction to the most neglected skill in communication. If you look around you will find that nearly every communication skills book or course misses it. Listening is the single most important skill for professionals, transforming your own ideas into concrete reality: buying or creating expensive toys that you get to play with. However, your clients will only give you money if you respond to their needs. Most clients tend to clients will only give you money if you respond to their needs. Most clients tend to be verbal people: they don't tend to express their needs in writing or drawings. That's the first reason why listening is so important for professionals : you need to listen to understand your clients' needs. The second reason why listening is important is that professionals seldom perform the actual hands-on technical work (except perhaps for many software engineers and some design engineers). Mostly you will be organising lots of other people to do the work for you. You need to be sure they are listening to you, and you need to listen to them when they tell you about problems that come up.

What does it mean to really listen?

Real listening is an active process that has 3 basic steps.

1.Hearing: Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying. For example, say you were listening to a colleague talking about a delayed delivery, if you can repeat the fact “the delivery has been delayed”, then you have heard what has been said.

2. Understanding: The next part of listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way. To take the previous example, you hear about the delayed delivery and think what this may mean – will your customers be unhappy because goods they were waiting for are unavailable?

3. Judging: After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said, think about whether it makes sense. How does my colleague know? Do I need to check?

How to Listen Well

Give your full attention to the person who is speaking.

Don't look out the window or at what else is going on in the room.

Concentrate on what is being said...

It can be easy to let your mind wander if you think you know what the person is going to say - but you may be wrong

Don’t interrupt

Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk.  Speakers like to complete what they have to say. When you interrupt, it looks like you aren't listening, even if you really are.

Really listen – don’t just wait for your turn to speak!

Listen for main ideas

The main ideas are the most important points the speaker wants to get across.

They may be mentioned at the start or end of a talk, and repeated a number of times.   Pay special attention to statements that begin with phrases such as "My point is..." or "The thing to remember is..."

• Listen carefully so that you will be able to understand, comprehend, and evaluate. Careful listening will require a conscious effort on your part. You must be aware of the verbal and non-verbal messages (reading between the lines).
• Be mentally and physically prepared to listen. Put other thoughts out of your mind. Your attention will be diverted from listening if you try to think of answers in advance.
• You can't hear if YOU do all the talking. Don't talk too much.
• Think about the topic in advance, if possible. Be prepared to listen.
• Listen with empathy. See the situation from the other's point of view. Try to put yourself in their shoes.
• Be courteous; don't interrupt. Take notes if you worry about forgetting a particular point.
• Avoid stereotyping individuals by making assumptions about how you expect them to act. This will bias your listening.
• Listen to how something is said. Be alert for what is left unsaid.
• Make certain everyone involved gets an opportunity to voice their opinions. Don't let one person dominate the conversation.
• Face those you are talking with, lean slightly forward, and make eye contact. Use body to show your interest, concern.