Interpersonal Skills

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS (IS)

BY PROF.M.S.RAO

According to WIKIPEDA, “Interpersonal skills refer to mental and communicative algorithms applied during social communications and interactions in order to reach certain effects or results”.

Interpersonal skills which are also called as social skills or human skills refer to the ability of a person to get along well with other members in a group. It can also be defined as the skills involved in understanding the relations between the people. It is treated as the first and foremost skill of the soft skills. All animals and human beings always move in groups and it is the human beings who are blessed with the ability to talk, reason and memorizes many things. Since man can not live alone as he needs security, he has strong inherent motive to talk with fellow human beings. And it is through IS he builds relationships with other human beings and finds himself safe, secure and more comfortable. To put it in a nut shell, the objective of IS are to communicate effectively so as to build relationships amongst the people.

IS are essential and has paramount importance in the creation of any environment. It is imperative for all levels in the organization. According to Robert K. Kalz, three skills are essential for managers; they are technical skills which are required at their lower level of management, conceptual skills which are a must at the top level management as because of these skills the managers are able to see big picture and thirdly the human skills which are required in all levels of management i.e. lower level, middle level and top level. And subsequently, the design skills have been added due to the fast growing techno logical revolution. The managers never discount, nor overlook nor underestimate the significance of human skills at work place.

Mintzberg cited studies which indicated that managers spend 45 per cent of their contact time with peers, about 45 per cent with people outside their units and only about 10 per cent with their superiors. This study obviously indicates the importance of IS in every organization. It also highlights that communications and IS are two sides of the same coin and one without the other has no meaning. The noted business schools in India teach everything about the technical skills and conceptual skills and not about IS which one has to lay a lot of emphasis. The people who are good at these skills become highly successful in their careers and lives.

It is fundamentally the process of hearing and listening which play a pivotal role in IS. Hearing is involuntary and it means picking up of sound vibrations. Whereas listening is voluntary and must be attentive and it is the process of generating sense out of sound vibrations so received by way of hearing. For instance, when a pedestrian walks on the road he picks many sounds and that is hearing and when he finds the sound of horn suddenly then it is listening. The listening is classified into active listening and passive listening. In active listening the listener is highly attentive and alert and there is a sense of responsibility, involvement and concentration. In passive listening the listener just listens like a tape recorder for the sake of listening.

What Is Time Lag?

Scientific research reveals that most of the people can listen around 300 words per minute. On the other hand, they can speak 150 to 200 words per minute. The gap between the same is around 100 to 150 words per minute thus resulting into time lag. This give rise to monotony and boredom on the part of the listener as he is capable of listening more words but the speaker delivers 150 to 200 words. It leads to poor listening comprehension. Of course, God gave two ears but one tongue, may be for the same reason. The listener should fine tune this gap by various techniques. The listener may resort to paraphrasing during this time i.e. he must restate in his own words whatever the speaker has said. And also, the listener must go for note taking if he is in a position to do so.

What Is Relationship?

Franklin D.Roosevelt put it, “If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships . . . . The ability of all people, of all kinds, to live together in the same world at peace”.
Man is a social animal and he can not live alone and he always depends on something for somewhere. He needs to survive and thrive only by building good relations with near and dear ones. It is a combination of biological, social and materialistic needs. Relationships; make the world go around. Relationships are built brick by brick and it needs lot of faith and trust with many years of continuous sustained efforts. But it takes a few seconds to break it. Etiquette extends relations such as using the terms like ‘thank you’ when some one extends help, then again saying ‘sorry’ when some one is hurt. Such things promote healthy relations. Memorizing the names of the people and addressing them by adding either as prefix or suffix to the sentence, with respect, can develop relations faster. Remembering the important events and dates of our colleagues or friends and offering gifts on important occasions can further relations. Calling a very close friend by his short or nick name strengthens the relations. Defence people are very good at building relations as they are always far away from their relatives. Only alternative opportunity for them is to mix up with diversified people with diversified cultures and get adjusted socially. Empathy is the best tool to promote relationships as it requires flexibility and broadness to step into the shoes of another and feel the pulse.

Tools for Excellent Conversation:

One who is good at conversation can develop IS automatically because the communication process involved in it. The speaker should have confidence in himself. He must be bold and free from all types of inhibitions or hesitations. Any superiority or inferiority complex will automatically vanish as one understands the niceties and pitfalls of the other persons. It is always advisable to address the other person by greeting such as ‘good morning’ or ‘good evening’ depending upon the particular time. By greeting in the morning regularly at the work place initiates for healthy conversation and it provides positive vibes and the same vibes will continue till the end of the day. Active listening is the key to any conversation. According to Carl R. Rogers and Richard E.Farson, “There are four essential requirements for effective active listening – intensity, empathy, acceptance and a willingness to take responsibility for completeness”. Positive presentation of the body language leads to healthy understanding on the part of the receiver. Continuously nodding head by the listener to the speaker arouses interest. Smiling at an appropriate occasions encourages the speaker to continue conversation further. By posing open ended questions rather than close ended questions can stimulate the conversation as the close ended questions provide a simple answer either yes or no; where as the open ended questions stimulate the speaker to think and speak with many details and the conversation also continues for long time. Asking questions relevantly to the speaker creates a feeling that the other person is listening with care and attention. Ultimately both the speaker and the listener should make a smart exit with right etiquette. It is always important to note that it is not the quantity but the quality of conversation that counts.

How To Build IPS?

Never condemn, never criticize and never complain. Always radiate energy and enthusiasm to talk and converse with people by way of your body gestures, facial expressions, tone control and smile. Empathy is a great quality and it teaches us to be open, flexible and helps us to see others’ point of view also. Meet the people especially when they are in sorrow as it provides a great source of strength and in turn strengthening long term relations.

Never back bait and never resort to poking or blabbing out as truth is very strong and powerful and it will come out one day and puts the individual in a negative light. Provide proper care and attention. Always appreciate the good and great things in the other man. Try to see at the bright side of the character and highlight the same. When one does good things then good things will bounce back. Smile as and when required as per the situation and occasion. Good communication paves the way for good IS. Resolving the conflicts rather than promoting will help ease the situation thus leading to better results and performance. Active listening helps and builds skills. Right and good sense of humor will prove to be handy.

In organizations, conducting regular get together is a welcome sign. Consistency in what one speaks with that of his body language conveys right signals. Setting personal examples rather than theoretical teachings would help. Sympathizing when somebody is ill or at the death of their relatives will quickly builds relations. As the saying goes, ‘Helping hands are better than the praying lips’. Always using the words like ‘we’ rather ‘I’ will not only promote togetherness but also demonstrates strong leadership qualities.

Results:

Right IS lead to good rapport and better human relations which give rise to conducive work climate in any organizations. The performance in the company will rise resulting into better productivity and profitability. Mutual trust and openness increases with in the organization. Whether it is a manager, or leader or an entrepreneur, possession of IS are an imperative for achieving the organizational goals and objectives.

Key Component in Soft Skills:

Soft skills are a cluster of various traits and abilities such as communication skills, team spirit, interpersonal skills, social grace, time management, motivation, goal setting, organizing skills, leadership qualities, decision making, conflict management, corporate etiquette, negotiation skills and many more. Many students after passing out of their educational institutions possess strong technical or qualification related skills. But hey find a great difficult in adjusting to the organization due lack of soft skills. Even B school passed out candidates also faces the same problem.

During Interviews:

A great emphasis is laid on IS during the interview. The employer looks for soft skills and especially communication and IS because recruiting a social inept person will prove to be very costly for the organization. The interviewer poses several questions of open ended ones so as to find out at depth the communication and IS. At the time of group discussions and again at the time of series of interviews the psychologist analyzes the candidates from all dimensions to see the suitability.

The inclusion of IS and soft skills in the academic curriculum from XI standard onwards will prove useful and the students gets tuned to it automatically and they feel comfortable when they pass out of academic institutions.

To sum up, having excellent command over IS and maintaining sound relationships either in our personal or professional life is essential. We all interact with many people in our day to day life from dawn to dusk and possession of IS will prove to be highly productive and fruitful.

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