There is More Than One First Impression

Altogether now:  You can never get a second chance at a first impression.  While this is absolutely, positively true, it doesn’t just go for face to face scenarios.  Due to the wonders of technology people meet for the first time over emails and phone calls.  It is easy to overlook the significance of first impressions when separated by distance, but phone calls and emails are actually first impressions made before the first impression.

To cover all the bases, let’s look at face to face first impressions first.  The different aspects to consider at the first meeting are what you look like, what you say, and how you act.  Each part is as important as the others, but all three combined is what makes up the first impression.

Your appearance is important because as much as we hate to admit it, we judge people by how they look.  Make sure you are clean and tidy, with clothes to match the situation.  Pay special attention to your shoes.  Your hair is vital as well.  An unkempt look will cause a bad impression.

While what you say does not make as much impact as how you look, your words shouldn’t be neglected.  At the basic, remember your manners.  Don’t forget to say please and thank you, even if it is just “Thank you for this meeting.”  Use the other person’s name as soon as possible, then often afterwards. 

Humor can lighten the mood and break the ice, however, be careful doing too much.  You don’t know this person and what they may or may not find tasteless.  Another way to jumpstart things is to spot something in the room to talk about.  Also, find out what you have in common and run with that.  Avoid talking about yourself too much.  It is better to let them blather on while you listen intently rather than the other way around.

Depending on the scenario, what you do could have more weight than how you look or what you say.  For example, if you show up late, it could cost you everything even before you have actually met the other person.  Always, it is better to arrive early than show up late.  If sitting, keep your back straight and your shoulders back.  Avoid crossing your legs or coming across too casual.  Maintain eye contact, but don’t stare them down.  Do not fidget.  Shake their hand firmly, but do not hold it too long.  Stay calm and confident.

Although the previous tips are for meeting someone in person, a lot of them can be used when using a phone to meet someone for the first time.  Listening more than talking, watching your humor, and staying calm and confident are some good tips that crossover.

Although it may be an ironic thing to say, you should turn off your phone when making a call.  Obviously not the phone you are talking to the other person with, but the other technological detractors nearby.  Put your cell phone on vibrate, hold your office calls, turn off your blackberry, or shut down email.  Give the other person your complete attention.

Sound quality is all that matters when making a good first impression by phone.  If they can’t hear you, they can’t like you.  Make sure there is little to no background noise.  Don’t let the receiver get muffled because you have the phone between your shoulder and neck.  Don’t have anything in your mouth.  If you have to sneeze, turn your head.  If you need to set the phone down, do it gently so as not to blast their eardrum.

Sometimes a first impression by phone is made without you ever talking to the other person.  People can make just as many judgments about you by what you do with a voicemail as with actually talking to you.  You don’t have much time to record a message so be brief and to the point.  Take a deep breath then speak confidently and clearly.  Leave just enough information for them to know why you called and what you need them for.  Do not ramble and don’t forget to leave your contact information.  If at all possible, write down what you want to say beforehand so your message will flow better.  However, do not make it sound like you are reading from a script.

Writing something down and sending it to another person is as old as human history itself.  Email is a fraction as old, but it’s only real differences are how it is sent and how fast.  Because of the speed and ease inherent to emails, we sometimes treat our messages very informally.  When using email, it is easy to do many things to make a first impression, but we don’t often do them.

Once sent, emails cannot be changed nor truly deleted, just like any impression made.  Keeping this in mind, it is almost always better to send a formal, professional email for the first time.  Use proper formatting, use punctuation, and above all, use spellchecker.  Nothing speaks worse about you than a sloppy email.  Avoid ALL CAPS like the plague.  Don’t use slang abbreviations like, “U r 2 l33t, woot!”  It will definitely make for a bad impression.

 Keep your emails brief.  It is more difficult to read an email than any other message medium and you don’t want to put your reader through an ordeal.  Especially with longer emails, break up your sentences into easily read paragraphs.  One solid block of text can be daunting.  Think about this, if your email is page after page of information, could it not be better to simply call the person?

Unless specifically told different, use the public-domain version of someone’s name.  For example, don’t address a Katherine as Kate.  Avoid using a recipient’s first name anyway unless they have either used yours, or signed theirs in a previous email. Be careful of your own email address.  An address such as HotMale @ hotmail.com will probably start a message off on the wrong foot.  Make sure to read your email aloud before sending it.  You will catch any awkward sentences as well as make sure you are saying what you really want to say.

First impressions are easy to do right and easy to screw up.  The only difference between success and failure is conscious thought on how you want to be portrayed.  If you treat the first email, phone call, or meeting like the once-in-a-lifetime event that it truly is, you will be better prepared to make that good first impression every time.