Valuable Mediation in Divorce

Even when you have known for years that divorce is inevitable, it is still difficult. When two people reach a point where they can no longer live together, divorce may be the only thing that can put an end to an uncomfortable situation. After you decide a divorce is the only solution, it is best to dissolve the marriage quickly and smoothly.

Everyone has heard at least one divorce horror story. After 40 years of marriage, when their oldest child finished college, a friend of mine and his spouse divorced. They sat down and discussed the situation and decided to split everything down the middle so that the divorce could be as friendly as possible and avoid causing anyone grief. The husband realized that they had built up a large amount of assets, got greedy, and decided he wanted more than half.

He felt he was entitled to retain the bulk of the money because, as a doctor, he had earned a substantial income. His wife used to work in the medical office, then got a real estate license and ran the apartments they had purchased as an investment. She later gave birth to their two children and took care of their enormous house and the family. She believed that she was entitled to half of all of their assets.

They had planned to start divorce proceedings in September, when the youngest went back to college, so that things would be normal during the summer and they would all still be together. In July, the husband hired a lawyer that you could liken to a pit bull. What ensued was a calamity. A seemingly simple divorce became a bitter battle. All of the family members suffered from the emotional strain. The children were in their twenties, but they were still devastated by the divorce.

The husband's lawyer fought over every little thing and extended the divorce, which made everyone's pain worse, and in the end everything was split right down the middle anyway. In California all couples split their assets evenly.

A divorce does not have to be nasty or miserable for the entire family. Mediation allows for a neutral third party to help with the settlement arrangements when a couple divorces. The legal system allows for mediation to assist in negotiating an equitable settlement, to settle the details of visitation and child support, and to help make other important decisions needed during a divorce. Research shows that couples who use mediation during their divorces are happier with the end results. Reduced time in court and lower attorney fees are some of the benefits of divorce mediation.

When couples realize that divorce is inevitable, they should both look for sound legal advice. They should try to find lawyers that will work with them and take their needs into consideration. They should also look into mediation to see if it will meet their needs so that they can save time, money, and emotional strain.