5 Signs That The Girl You Like Has Too Much Baggage

All women have a relationship history that defines who they are today. But that history is supposed to help improve them to be a better person, better lover, more self-aware, and a better partner in life. It is not supposed to be dragged into a relationship with you and made your problem for years to come.

The bottom line is if they have not dealt with all of their negative experiences in relationships, and bring that baggage into the relationship with you, then your relationship is not going to be a happy and healthy relationship until you resolve those issues that she has. Do you really want that?

In reality the best thing for her would be to resolve those issues BEFORE she gets into a relationship. So by you avoiding women with baggage that would cause you to be unhappy, you are also allowing them more time to become someone who feels good about relationships and can participate in a healthy relationship. Then you can search her out and get into a relationship with her.

So here are some signs to watch for that sends a huge warning of "I got baggage and it will be your problem too!"

1. She is Insecure For No Reason

You have barely asked her out on a date and she is already insecure around you! She asks you why you would want to date HER of all people or what you could possibly find attractive in her. If you find that you are already trying to build up her self-esteem then this girl has got baggage galore. Avoid her and let her work through her insecurities.

2. Always Goes After Losers

She doesn't have a high expectation of a partner even though she has dated losers and knows how bad the whole relationship can be. If she is still chasing down the drug addict who steals from her then you can bet she feels that a man like that is what she deserves because that's all she has ever had. This is again low self-esteem that needs to be resolved.

3. Is on an Emotional Roller Coaster

If she is always in a different mood when you see her then she most likely has a lot of issues and struggles going on in her head. Maybe she seems suspicious one day and then the next day she cries over something silly that you say. This girl may be holding on to memories of what those words or actions meant in her last relationship.

For instance, if her ex used to say that she looked pretty just before he hit her then your innocent comment about how she looks can be misread and reacted to inappropriately. So watch for a wave of emotions that seem very inappropriate and uncalled for.

If she is really emotionally unbalanced then she may also be having mental issues of her own, like depression, and she needs to work though those issues in order to be happy.

4. Acts Too Perfect Around You

No one is perfect and says all the right things and does all the right things at every moment of the day. This is a sign of trying to pretend to be something she's not so you don't reject her like other guys did for the women she really is.

This can also be a sign that she doesn't want to reveal her weaknesses to your for fear of you taking advantage of her or rejecting her for who she is. Again, this will be an experience she has had in the past and not worked through. This means that she will always be trying to please you while remaining untrue to her own self and happiness, and in many cases you will one day get the blame for this one even though it's her own issue.

5. She's a People Pleaser

She tries to make everyone like her, and she does and says all the right things so that everyone is happy - even if it's at the cost of her own happiness. She doesn't want to make waves with anyone because she's afraid of being judged and ridiculed. So if you feel like she's always reaching for answers you want to hear and acting in a way you would want to see then you can bet she is on her best behavior in order to make you happy with her.

These 5 issues boil down to self-esteem and self-worth in the end, but as you can see they all appear in different ways.

If she seems like she's trying too hard, not trying at all, too emotional at inappropriate times, suspicious, jealous, irrational, needy, smothering, or any other negative emotion, then she is carrying around hurt, guilt, or anger from past relationships and needs to work on her own issues before she will be able to be a part of a healthy and happy relationship that she deserves.

If you think you will take her on and help her out with her baggage then get ready for a ride! You may end up enduring years of this behavior only to find out that it will never work because she has never dealt with the issues.

Sometimes people need to become happy on their own before they can be truly happy with others. Wait until she's happy and then go after her.