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5 WARNING SIGNS YOU’LL NEVER MEET SOMEONE

Do you worry that you will never meet someone?  Have you tried to date, but nothing ever works out?  There are warning signs that tell you why this happens.  Do you know what the signs are?

WARNING SIGN #1 Disastrous Dates

The first warning sign that you won’t meet someone is when you have a date that you think is a disaster and you focus on the “failure” of it.  You may keep trying to date, but each person seems worse than the last one.  You consider this a sure sign that you will be alone the rest of your life, that you are not attractive enough to get the one you want, and, most of all, the one you want doesn’t even exist!

WHAT YOU CAN DO:  Shift your thinking from failure to success. You haven’t “lost” anything except some expectations.  Look for what you learned.  You have gained insight, clarity, and knowledge.  You can use these lessons on the path to your True Love.

CONCLUSION:  Your single life is not a contest—it’s an adventure.  Stop looking at it like it is one impossible event after another.  As long as you think of it as a win-lose, you will not feel successful, or brave enough to take the necessary steps to meet someone.  You are allowing your creative mind to dip into the negative zone, turning a disappointing date into an act of rejection.  Get a grip.  Don’t talk yourself into feeling rejected.  No one rejects you but your own mean inner critic.

WARNING SIGN #2: Interpreting Every Date As A Rejection

WHAT TO DO: It takes a victim and a victimizer, carefully orchestrating their misery, to be successful in creating the game of rejection.  If you don’t play the game, you can’t be rejected.  You are not rejected if someone shares that you two don’t seem compatible.  Say, “Thank you,” let go of whatever you were expecting, and move on.  How do you keep your dance card full so one less name on it will barely be missed?  Get out often, get out more, and get out and be friendly.

CONCLUSION: If you make a plan for your social life, you don’t have to wait for love to “just happen.”  Follow the plan, and plan for volume, so you won’t fall into the “I’ve been rejected” pit.

WARNING SIGN #3: Jealousy Consumes You When Someone Else Falls In Love

WHAT TO DO: When you feel jealous of anyone for ANYTHING, look to see what you have not done for you.  Jealousy occurs when we feel deprived, or helpless, or like we are not enough.  If you are jealous of another person, ask yourself:

  • What have I done lately to meet someone?  Do I get out whenever possible, tell lots of people I would like to meet someone, and stay friendly, reaching out to others?  Be honest.  How much have you really done?
  • What can I do to feel better about myself?  Need a counselor, exercise program, or financial adviser?
  • What can I do today to empower myself?  Have I de-cluttered recently, eliminated what I have been putting up with, or found something to do that I LOVE?

CONCLUSION: Jealousy happens when you are feeling empty and unfulfilled.  No one can make you jealous if your life is brimming with good things and if you know you have the power to create everything you want.

WARNING SIGN #4: Looking For Someone To Make You Happy

WHAT TO DO: Look to see where you can make yourself happy.  You may think all your fears will melt and your problems will be handled when The Perfect One enters your life.  But if you have this state of mind, when you find The One and continue not to be happy, you may think it is the other person’s fault.  True—the other person may be a jerk or jerkette—but your unhappiness started with you.  Pull your life together, do things that make you proud, and then you will attract someone like you.

CONCLUSION: Happiness is not an elusive balloon—one minute you have a hold of it and the next, it slips from your grasp.  You don’t have to go chasing after it.  It’s in you.  No one can give it to you, and no one can take it away.  You give it to yourself.

WARNING SIGN #5: Projection Onto The Other Person

WHAT TO DO: This is a common mistake singles make.  Many people who live alone want to meet someone so much, when they finally get a date, they read all kinds of values and character traits into the person that just aren’t there.  Eventually, they wind up being angry because he or she didn’t live up to their expectations.

CONCLUSION: Be careful when meeting your future dates that you don’t “make it up” they are so perfect, you miss the red flags of danger.

These are the five warning signs that can become your new guide to find romance.  Give them a try.  You deserve to find your love.

Tonja Weimer

About Tonja Weimer: · Columnist: Weekly syndicated singles and dating columnist (over four million readers in the U.S. and Canada) · Media: Coverage on TV, including CNN’s ShowBiz Today; rave reviews in USA Today, Entertainment Weekly, Publisher’s Weekly · Author: NBC/USA TV Network, selected author for articles on dating and singles for website · Articles: In House Beautiful, New Woman, GRAND, and other national magazines · Coach: Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach; Associate Certified Life Coach; International Coach Federation; Relationship Coaching Institute; Institute for Life Coach Training · Keynote Speaker: Regional, National and International conferences in U.S., India and Europe · Academic: BA; MA in Human Development; U.S. Dept of Mental Health full fellowship · Published Author: 7 Books(Fingerplays for Children; Creative Movement for Children, etc) winning over 25 awards.
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