A Woman’s Top Secret Guide to the First Date

Dating can seem like a fairly difficult process. There’s always the issue of trying to make sure we impress the other person while still being ourselves and not turning them off. This can seem awfully difficult at times, and for women it can be even harder because quite a few of them don’t seem to know what a guy really wants. How do you attract a guy? What’s the best way to impress him and make sure you don’t frighten him away? Do men prefer cheap thrills or a classy, confident girl more? There are more ideas and misconceptions about men and dating that it can actually make it seem like a very big and scary thing. Fortunately though, this isn’t the case at all. Real dating is actually a lot simpler than it can seem, and it’s a very fun and enjoyable process as long as you know what you’re doing!

I like to think of dating as separated into two different terms. – Long term and short term. To make myself clearer, here is how I define them. Long term deals with the relationship as a whole, once you’ve really both gotten to know each other fairly well and are at least somewhat exclusive with each other. Short term is really the first several dates where you’re just starting to get a feel for each other, to see if you want to take the relationship any further. First impressions are extraordinarily important on the dating scene, and can really make or break ones’ chances of snatching another date, and this is especially important on the first date. So here, we’re really going to center around the first date. To a lot of people, the first date is the scariest. You really don’t know the guy too well and you don’t have much of an idea on how to handle certain issues. As we all know, this is extremely important, because first impressions can really shape what a man thinks of you. Here we’re going to go through some of the issues women have on a first date, and I will inform you on how a guy really feels about them.

Typically the least significant of the problems is what to do about eating. There are a lot of girls who don’t seem to want to be seen by a guy eating anything other than leafy, skimpy salad. Many women feel compelled by certain assumed standards of beauty, and worry that eating cheeseburgers and the like will turn the guy off, so like a rabbit they head for the garden. Is this the case?

Absolutely not! First, keep this in mind: What a guy is wanting out of a date is a good time. He wants to enjoy himself, and you know what the best way to ensure someone around you is having a good time? Make sure you’re comfortable and that you’re doing what you enjoy. If you normally order the cheeseburger, order the cheeseburger – just eat it with some manners. If you’re on a date with a guy, that means he already likes the way you look enough to be attracted to you and want to take you out on a date. He doesn’t care if you maintain that by eating grass or Whoppers – he just knows that he likes how you look. Munching on a salad isn’t going to change his opinion of you for the better, and you’re better off enjoying a meal with him.

Secondly, dress. This is a much larger topic, especially with younger girls. They wonder if they should dress in a flirty, provocative manner, maybe more so than they normally do. They recognize the fact that men are extremely attracted to the female body, and the rationality is that if you if you show him yours, he’ll be more attracted to you and like you more. The verdict?

Actually, no. It’s undeniable that men do have a fascination to the female body. The thing is, however, that that doesn’t mean they are only attracted to skimpy clothes. Have you ever wondered if strippers had great, dependable men who cared deeply about them? I sincerely hope not. Come on, if they did, would they be on their current career path? Guys might like looking at things like that every now and then, but it’s not what we’re looking for in a girl. You can get a guy interested in your body and still maintain respect for you at the same time, and you have to have that if you want to keep him interested. How? Confidence. To men, confidence is equal to sexiness, and we just can’t help but fall for girls who like themselves and respect themselves. Skimpy clothes convey the opposite message. That’s not to say you can’t dress fun – just don’t look cheap. You’d probably be surprised at how many guys think a nice fitting t-shirt is as sexy as it gets, and while others are looking for a more polished girl, this can be done just as easily and all really depends on your own personal taste. Just remember that a guy wants a girl who likes what she’s got, so find that outfit that looks nice, compliments your body, but isn’t going to look trashy.

Conversation is another key issue, and it can be quite tricky. I like to explain it this way: There are two bottomless holes, both extremely easy to fall head first into. One I like to call “The Awkward Silence”, the other I call “Overbearing and flaky”. There’s a very fine line between the two, and that’s where you want to stay to avoid falling into one of those chasms. Very rarely do two people go on a first date and are immediately connected, with the conversation flowing freely like water. It’s not uncommon for two people to both be rather nervous and tense on the first date. Having to think about what to say to the other person is natural on the first date, and unfortunately conversation can be a bit tense. This can be a problem, as the most effective way to get someone to open up to you and like you is through communication. Having a natural, smooth conversation is one of the best ways to ensure a productive and enjoyable date. Oftentimes though, it’s a lot easier for a person to fall into one of the bottomless pits. – Those times of uneasy, awkward silence, or where you try desperately to keep conversation going by bringing up pointless and awkward topics, making you seem even more uncomfortable or like you’re trying too hard. These typically only serve to make the guy feel uncomfortable, so how do you avoid this?

Just make sure to get him talking! And the fortunate part about this is that, with a little bit of thought put into it, it’s very easy. Just stop for a moment and think about the way we humans are naturally. – We all enjoy talking about things that interest us. Our pastimes, our hobbies, the things we do in our spare time or the things we are passionate about. The most effective way to get a person to talk to you is to start up a conversation about something they’re interested in! There’s a trick to this though, as you have to make sure you do this completely naturally. You have to seem like you’re at least interested in learning about the topic. Let’s say you’re on a date with a man who plays football. Asking him the question, “So, uh, you play football, don’t you?” is going to sound a bit forced or uninterested. He’s a football player, so obviously he really enjoys playing it! – Once you can get him to really start talking about it, you’ll have him in the palm of your hand! Ask him how long he’s been playing football, or how he got into it! Sound genuine in your questions! Now this is a double-punch for you, as not only are you getting him to happily and excitedly talking, you’re also learning a lot more about him to talk about in the future. If a man is opening up to you and talking to you about the things he’s enjoying, he’s going to have a good time, and come to respect you as a good listener.

Guys can catch a slightly undeserved reputation sometimes. Believe it or not, most of us really do want more than a trophy-girl to hang off of our shoulders wherever we go. Above all, guys want to have fun and enjoy themselves, and nothing turns a guy on like a girl he can have fun with. What guys want from dating is someone they can rely on, feel comfortable around, and enjoy life with. We like to share things, and have things shared with us. So as you go through the short-term realm of dating, remember that you need to make sure that you’re having a good time. Don’t worry about what you’re eating. Dress a way you feel comfortable and sexy – attract us, but make us respect you and want more. Finally, get that conversation moving. When a guy is talking and smiling, it means he’s having fun, and if you keep all of these things in mind, you’ll have the dating scene figured out in no time flat.