Acclimatisation, your Russian partner will need time patience and understanding !

So, you've searched the internet, found your new partner from Russia or Eastern Europe, and hopefully you've travelled to her home town several times, met her parents and the family pets. Now you face the hardest part, your partner is coming to live with you in your home country.

If you're smart and had the opportunity, you'll have researched the Russian culture from a variety of sources, a little at least, and you'll have some idea of the differences that your partner will have to get used to - this process is called acclimatisation.

Photographs of Russia and your questions answered.

Debt and finance

Sadly, a lot of Russian girls make one misguided connection, foreigner = money, and so often this is not the case. The financial situation will possibly be the most important aspect of your relationship, in the beginning at least.

Remember, it is still difficult for most ordinary Russian people to borrow money, and most financial transactions are in cash. Unlike the West, credit is not freely available, there is little real understanding of personal debt and the enormous stress that people in the West suffer from as a result of debt. ( Credit is gradually becoming easier to get in Russia, mortgages are being promoted and credit cards are making their way into society, at the moment the lending criteria is very strict, how the Russian people will cope if or when the lending rules are relaxed remains to be seen. )

Debt to many Russian people is borrowing a few Roubles for some extra groceries and returning the money at the end of the week. Debt to many Westerners may involve one, two or more of the following :

• credit cards
• in-store cards
• bank overdrafts, authorised and unauthorised
• mortgages ( still widely regarded as debt in Russia )
• personal secured loans
• personal unsecured loans
• payday loans
• business, start-up, company development loans
• loan sharks ( unlicensed lenders often with very high interest rates and dubious collection methods )
• pawnbrokers *

The opportunities for Westerners to get into debt are truly staggering.

Mortgages and your financial situation

In the West a mortgage is not generally to be considered to be a debt in the same way as a credit card, it's a fact of life, we think that we own a property even though, technically the lender of the mortgage advance owns the property until it has been repaid. To a Russian girl, you don't own a property if you have a mortgage, it's clear and very straight forward, don't be surprised, offended or feel insulted when this crops up in conversation, the subject and terminology used in describing debt in the West has been sanitized for many years, in Russia, debt is exactly that...DEBT !

Russians understand the concept of value for money very well indeed, especially no money - no choice, the absence of easily available credit has seen to that, however, when your partner arrives she must adapt to the " value for money " issue in a different currency, it'll take time, patience and understanding on your part.

If you don't explain your financial situation in advance, in Russia, you are only storing up trouble for the future. You don't have to reveal your true wealth or poverty, but you do need to make it crystal clear how it will affect her, will she have to economise on basic items or utilities ?

It may be helpful, if a little embarrassing, to put yourself on a social and financial scale in comparison to the rest of your country...the following phrases are all but meaningless to any foreigner, or worse, open to an entirely different interpretation.

• Well off
• Not very well off
• OK
• Reasonably well off
• Financially ok

How many times have you seen "financially stable" or "financially secure" in the profiles ? These are phrases that are universally understood. Your partner needs to know something about your wage, the average national wage, house prices, mortgages levels and most importantly an idea about your disposable income ( Disposable income is total personal income minus personal current taxes ).

If you're reluctant to tell your partner too much information, remember, you're not buying a Russian girl, she is trusting you with her future and has a right to know what she's getting into, it's a question of striking the right balance between divulging all your personal details and giving enough information to be fair. Also remember that in Russia, rich means seriously rich, and poor means seriously poor, it's estimated that only 10% of Russian society live in what the West would call " middle America or middle class ".

In Russian schools the students are taught about the " economic triangle ", a description of the distribution of wealth in Russia, this is then used as a benchmark for comparison to the economy in other countries. The top of the triangle represents the 5% of the Russian population that is wealthy, the middle section has 10% and the bottom, a staggering 85% of the population, are regarded as poor. The balances are shifting, but slowly and it could take generations of slow but steady progress to rival the West.

The Russian climate and Russian food

Russian weather is diverse, extreme and is certainly not the " frozen waste " that many foreigners believe it to be. Some regions have temperatures to rival Mediterranean holiday destinations ( Sochi, for example ). In some parts of Russia summer temperatures can reach + 45 degrees and winter temperatures can go as low as - 72 degrees, with enormous variations inbetween.

Your climate will be different, wherever you are, it is something that you may want to seriously consider as your partner will need to adapt to the weather as well. It sounds crazy to talk about the weather, don't under estimate the effect on your Russian or Eastern European partner.

Fast food (Mc Donalds, KFC etc.. ) is nowhere near as popular in Russia as in the West, there are fast food outlets that serve chicken, fries and coca cola etc.. but this industry is very small and doesn't have a wide customer base...yet. Ordinary Russian girls are used to home made food, shopping regularly at the market and supermarket on a " little but often " basis. Staple diets include bread, porridges milk and pancake related dishes. Good meat is reasonably expensive, as is good quality fruit. Restaurant dining is reserved for the wealthy although there are reasonably priced cafes that serve coffee and cakes. Sometimes you may find a good bakery, with a section set aside for standing coffee drinkers. Some European countries have had long established cultures of eating out due to the favourable climate, most of Russia does not have the " pavement cafe " climate.

It's doubtful whether food will be a problem for your partner, most Western countries sell food that would be acceptable and palatable, although if you live in a large enough city or town you may well find a Russian food shop that sells traditional Russian foods.

In summary, your partner will need time, patience, a lot of tender loving care and especially understanding to acclimatise into a new culture, you would need the same, keep in mind always that what is obvious to you really might not be obvious to her, encourage questions and conversation, don't make any questions seem stupid, if you do, she won't ask any more, and try to get on with your new life with your Russian or Eastern European partner. We wish you well !