Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man's perspective. Having written 3 books ("Being a Man in a Woman's World™" series) and is working on others, hundreds of articles, been on hundreds of radio and TV shows, he is funny, direct and intuitive. Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com.
Hey Dr. Neder!
I’ve gone through reading both BAM I and II – great books by the way!
I’ve made my plans and have began practicing the steps outlined in the books, but here’s the problem: when I’m around women that I have no interest in whatsoever, I’m able to build rapport with them quickly and if I wanted to could easily close them.
However if it’s a woman that I’m attracted I can’t bring myself to start a conversation and work on closing her.
How do you explain that and more importantly is there any advice you could give that would help me get over whatever the hell my problem is?
Hello!
This problem is not only common, it's perfectly normal. You are invested in women that you're attracted to, and thus, fear losing the opportunity or the girl. Again, perfectly normal. This is called “approach anxiety”.
The key is that you have to work through that anxiety. You do that by:
1) Regular practice. Trust me, after you've done this 20 times, you're going to get entirely over the fear of it.
2) Being goal-focused, not girl-focused. This is important: keep your eye on the goals you created from BAM. Don't focus on the girl. She is mealy a vehicle to getting what you want. That takes the pressure off of you.
3) Keep rolling the numbers. Dating is a numbers game. If all you have is one hot girl and you lose her, you've got 100% loss. If you have 4 hot girls you're working and you lose one of them, who cares?
Do you remember the "20 No's"? It's a great tool if you have this sort of anxiety. If you don't remember it, go to my video website: http://BeingAMan.tv and click on "Video" and then "BAM! TV Episodes" and watch the first episode.
Give these things a try and let me know how they work out for you. If you apply them aggressively, you'll be over your anxiety with beautiful girls in no time.
Best regards…
------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a love, dating, sex or relationship question? You can write to me or get more information about “Being a Man in a Woman’s World tm” by going to: http://BeingAMan.com. Be sure to check out the new BAM! TV at http://BeingAMan.tv. Follow me on Facebook (http://tinyurl.com/cas4w9) and Twitter (http://tinyurl.com/d3pecs).
Copyright (c) 2009, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
Tips to Make Girl Want You – This Cannot Fail
By: Mr. Pom | 01/01/2010Every woman is attracted to a guy who knows how to handle himself and if you can present yourself before her without any problems, they will sure want to know more about you.
Make a Girl like You – Simple but Most Effective Tips
By: Mr. Pom | 01/01/2010If you want to make a girl like you, then there are some things that you need to understand beforehand itself as this is what lays the foundation for your relationship.
How to Make a Girl Smile – Something that Really Works
By: Mr. Pom | 01/01/2010How to make a girl smile? You might consider it a challenge, but in reality there are so many ways and all that is required is some sensitivity on your side to make sure that you understand your girl and do the right thing at the right time.
How to Make a Girl Love You – Lessons that Actually Work
By: Mr. Pom | 01/01/2010Love is a great emotion and if you are wondering how to make a girl love you, there is one thing that you need to remember. Love is not something that can be forced out of some one.
Surefire Tips on How to Make a Girl Fall in Love
By: Mr. Pom | 01/01/2010All of us do have this picture of our dream girl etched on our minds and we look around for people like that. Most of us are lucky enough and are very successful on how to make a girl fall in love.
How to Make a Girl Fall For You – Do you Have It in You?
By: Mr. Pom | 01/01/2010If you direct this question to the youngsters, most of them will give the negative answer itself. The main reason behind this is the fact that they are not at all confident about themselves.
How to Get With a Girl You Like – Find Solutions that Actually Work
By: Mr. Pom | 01/01/2010How many times have you experienced that warm tingling sensation in your stomach when you see her, the girl you adore? I know what your problem is.
Learn How to Get With a Girl – Sure Shot Tips that Work
By: Mr. Pom | 01/01/2010All of us want a girlfriend and most of us, guys, just do not know how to go about this. If you find yourself unsuccessful you probably have lost all your confidence and feel so let down.
Christmas Day Dump
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 30/12/2009 | DatingA guy gets dumped by his gold-digging girlfriend on Christmas because he lost his business. Of course, she takes the gifts, but he blames himself! Dr. Dennis gives him a little reality check.
When She Gives Too Much
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 23/12/2009 | DatingCan a woman "love too much"? She can if you're not ready to accept all the giving - or when you don't feel worthy of it. Dr. Dennis helps out a reader that doesn't know how to accept his girl's love.
Long-Distance, Bad News
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 16/12/2009 | DatingWhat happens when the love of your life leaves to go back home? How do you manage a long-distance relationship, or in fact, should you even try? Dr. Dennis helps a reader understand his options.
Keeping Him Satisfied and Interested
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 02/12/2009 | SexualityOne woman asks how to keep her man focused on her and satisfied with their sex life. Does she have to consider a three-way? Does she have to change her "good-girl" ways to keep him? Dr. Dennis Neder gives some insight into men and relationships.
The Six “R’s” to Getting your Ex Back
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 11/11/2009 | DatingWhat's really involved in getting your ex back? What if she's already seeing someone else, is it still possible? Dr. Dennis helps out one guy with his "6 R's".
Silently, She Cums
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 28/10/2009 | SexualityOne guy, concerned with his partner's sexual satisfaction consults Dr. Dennis about how to better please her - and what it all means when she can't cum.
Waiting in Line to be 100% Sure
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 14/10/2009 | DatingWhat can a guy do to be 100% sure he's not going to get rejected if he approaches someone he's interested in? How do you find, let alone maximize an opportunity to meet a woman in the first place? Dr. Dennis helps a out a viewer.
A Matter of Height
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 01/10/2009 | DatingHow important is height to dating success? Do all women want tall guys? Is there a "minimum height"? Dr. Dennis helps out a viewer.