Face it; there are more relationships that do not work out than do. It's not a negative thing; the fact of the matter is that many people begin dating that don't have enough in common with one another and in the long run will be better off without one another. So, after you have dated for awhile or have become intimate, is it really possible to just be friends? Most people find it difficult to be friends after they have had a relationship because it's hard to draw the line between a friendship and a relationship. A lot of people start out being friendly with a call everyone once in awhile, maybe even drinks or lunch but after awhile the calls stop coming and before you know it, its been six months or even a year since the last time you talked and you're alright with that.
The other place that people get stuck is having a friendship that goes back and forth between friendship and relationship. This is how a lot of people get hurt because one person will develop feelings again and the other person will not. It's convenient to call up the friend that you have had sexual relations with in the past when you are lonely, but it really doesn't do anyone any good in the long run if the couple truly isn't right for one another.
The truth is that you can be friends after a relationship, but you have to really want to maintain a friendship. The people that are usually able to maintain friendships are those that were friends before they started dating, because they have a history to fall back on. If your relationship started with sex or flirtation and went from there, its likely if you weren't together all that long that you didn't build enough of a friendship within the relationship to have anything to build on.
It is a lot easier to be friends and then become lovers than it is to be lovers and then become friends. If both parties are interested in getting to know one another, it isn't out of the question that you become friends after you've been lovers, so give it a shot if you really feel that it could work out. It's important to establish boundaries no matter what the situation so that you don't find yourself calling one another for a quick booty call three years from now, unless of course that is part of the agreement.
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If you have been married for almost three yrs and ...
By: mary | 14-09-2008
if you have been married for almost three yrs and you found out your husband just co/signed a new car loan for a female co worker what would you do? he swears hes not involved.
What should I do, I have a 8 years love relation ...
By: neva | 13-09-2008
What should I do, I have a 8 years love relation, but the last 2 yeras we are very long-distance emotionaly. I can't deside what shoul I do. Shuold I stay with him and try to fall in love with him again, or should I break up?
The thing is, when I decide to try to be more tender, with hope that the love spark will shine again, he will say something that is makeing me not very compfortable, and on the end of the night, I want to go home faster, but when I try to break up with him, I'm feeling a very big pain, about that! What should I do?
New at dating at age 59
By: Lovealpacas | 12-09-2008
When are just starting to day, how many times should a man take you to dinner before you fix him dinner?
I don't know what to do! Insecurites suck!
By: Courtwizzle19 | 11-09-2008
Okay, so I can't help but think my boyfriend is going to cheat on me! And in all reality, there is absolutly NO reason for me to be feeling that way. He has never done it before, and he always tells me how much he loves me and how I am the best thing that has ever happened to him, and he wants to be with me forever, and there is even talk of starting a family one day. There is so much background here that, its going to take a good couple minutes to explain... First.. a little about me....
Within the last 2 years I have gone through a huge transformation, I have shed about 200 pounds. (boyfriend came after the weight loss) So my self esteem, and self confidence is still struggling. I am still a thick girl for sure, so I still have self image problems...but I know I look a hundred times better.
Also, I think I might have some sort of abandonment issues, Dad left when I was 10, and chose drugs over his family...And it hit me harder then anyone cause I was the closest to him...
So anyways...this guy is a cool good looking nice outgoing person, and I am always thinking, why is he with me!? That sounds absolutely horrible, but I am just expressing exactly what feelings I get. I tell myself all the time, that I am wonderful and I have a great heart, and Im a pretty girl, and blah blah blah, but I still have this horrible insecurity. I work evenings, so whenever he goes out I meet him after work, but its late and he has already been out, and the whole time before I get off I a thinking "omg what is he doing?" and I have these HORRIBLE unnecessary mental images of him making out, or spitting game, or whatever. And Its soooooo horrible and rediculous!!
Now, here is where he IS wrong....he has told me in the past how he cheated on his ex when he was a lot younger...he promises he would never do that to me, and I mean way more then she ever did...but I have always thought, once a cheater, always a cheater, but that was like 5 years ago...so when he told me that it just added more fuel to my fire of insecurities and horrible thoughts.
He really has given me no reason to feel this way, I even went as far as to look through his phone!!!! I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!! Im not a weird possesive girlfriend...I would never do that. But this guys is just such an great catch, and I am so scared to loose him. I feel like im putting to much thought into this and I am almost loosing myself. HELLPP! :( I don't want to feel this way anymore!
Also, he has this best friend, who is a total DOGG! He cheats on his girlfriend all the time. And I feel like he might drag my boyfriend into it too. They always go out with one another, and he always says "come on dude lets go holler at some girls" How inconsiderate! My boyfriend just laughs and rolls his eyes. He says he could never influence him to do anything, but it makes me so nervous, cause they always hang out! Maybe that has something to do with my issues!
A senior and a freshmen dating
By: Megan | 11-09-2008
Im a freshmen in high school, and i really like this senior. He's a virgin, he goes to church, and he doesn't do any drugs or anything like that. Me and him have one class together and I just made the school play, and he promised if i made it he would be a 'techie'. So we're going to spend a lot of time together, and we hang out anyways. I really want to date him, and i know my parents wouldn't approve..so we would just keep them thinking that we're only friends. Yes, i know that can get me into trouble..and not just with them, but me and this guy only hang out when we're with other people. So nothing would happen, and he knows that. Anyways, please let me know what you think. This could be a really good relationship, i just need some opinions. Thanks.
Regrets...............?
By: Bubbaboo | 11-09-2008
What do I do? I got married 2 1/2 yrs ago, left my job of 20yrs. moved out of state and now I wished I had everything back the way it was, with my husband of course!
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