Jenna S. is SexSearch.com's hot "sexpert." For more hot dating tips, go to SexSearch.com.
When it comes to your overall attitude with online dating, you could be doing things that are "stilting" your level of success. Take, for example, if you write to a woman on a free online dating site, ask her out, and she says, "no." You may feel so rejected to the point that you don't even want to look for women online anymore. This attitude is not only wrong, but can also be corrected with a few "shifts of attitude" in your mind. If you begin to frame in your mind that you are living in "your reality" in which only certain people are invited in, you will start feel a better sense of worth. And those other people who don't choose to accept your invite -- their loss. They will be missing out on meeting someone unique, fun, and exciting. And if you frame it this way toward a woman who isn't being receptive to your advances, chances are she'll become more intrigued by you and what you're all about. Here's another example: If you go on a date with someone and it turns out really bad, instead of saying to yourself, "I'm never going to date again. I'd just rather be alone and watch porn by myself," say to yourself, "This date was a learning experience. I learned what to avoid in the future and what I'm not looking for when it comes to women." See how easy it is to change your outlook with dating? When you're out with a girl for the first time, don't focus so much on trying to find a time or opportunity to kiss her, or if you're going to get laid. Just go in with the attitude that you're going to have fun, and whatever happens, happens. Look at your date as someone you've already been out with several times, and that will make things a lot more comfortable for you. Isn't changing your attitude fun? The same outlook applies to when you approach women at a mall or wherever. If you get shot down, don't view it as rejection. See it as a earning experience. And give yourself a pat on the back for making the effort to give it try. It's a lot better than what most guys do: nothing at all and then kicking themselves later for not trying (and instead jerking off to the image of the girl they were interested in). Another way to view a girl turning you down is to just say yourself (or even directly to her if you're ballsy enough), "Fine. You don't want to be part of my wonderful reality. Your loss." Just remember: for every hot girl out there, there are hundreds more to approach. And that's just locally! So NEVER get hung up on just one girl. Dating allows you to be like a kid in a candy store. If you don't like one flavor, just try another one. Another shift in the way you think about dating is what happens, happens. Don't keep your expectations too high. Just have fun, no matter what it is you're doing. If you're meeting a woman for dinner, just enjoy the fact that you're enjoying good food during your time off with someone who could possibly become a friend, sex partner, or even more. If you come across as laid back and cool instead of focused on "making something happen" with a chick, your chances of success will greatly increase. Don't believe us? Give it a try the next time you email a woman online on a site like SexSearch.com, HM, or AFF. And if things don't go as well the first time around, don't give up. Keep working at shifting your attitude with dating. Success doesn't always happen overnight. But it could!
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