Christian Dating - Dating a Non-Christian? Read This First

Posted: Jan 06, 2011 |Comments: 0 |

I am a Christian man who married a non-Christian woman. I'm writing this to give other Christians who are currently dating non-Christians an idea of what it is like to be in a committed relationship where both parties do not share the same worldview and some issues you might encounter if you decide to get married.

Going to Church

She used to come with me to church when we were dating. It got less and less frequent. Now she doesn't come with me at all. She finds it boring to be at church. Sitting for an hour and listening to a person preach is too much for her. The last time we were both at a church service, she was fidgeting the whole time, twisting in her seat, played with her keys and was visibly bored and uncomfortable being there. I decided then that there was no point in bringing her to church if she was going to be unhappy and disruptive during the service. She has not gone with me ever since.

Friends

We both have a mix of Christian and con-Christian friends. One of the challenges I had to face throughout our relationship was explaining to my Christian friends at church and at small group meetings why my girlfriend (soon to be wife) wasn't with me. She has also gotten tired of answering new Christian friends who ask about her involvement at Church. There's always that awkward silence that follows the statement "Oh, I don't go to church." These are small issues but small issues can add up if you are not prepared to accept or deal with them.

Support System

We have different ways of dealing with the inevitable challenges that life throws at us. When I am faced with an issue that I don't know how to resolve, the first thing I do is pray to God for guidance. The first thing she does is to call her mother who she has a very close relationship with for advice, next in line are her friends. Her favorite way of distressing after a rough day at work is to watch a television soap opera. Mine is to read and meditate on scripture. This seems to be working fairly well and doesn't really affect our relationship.

Biggest Challenge

What I find most challenging in this relationship is when she puts God in an unfavorable light. I.e. If God is so good why doesn't He do X, Y, or Z? When couples duel over God's place in the world is when the relationship can get rocky. Our solution is we don't talk about issues of God and faith.

Conclusion

I did not go into the marriage hoping that she would change. I accept and love her for who she is. Whether you're a single Christian man or woman, I don't recommend dating or marrying a Non-Christian unless you are willing to accept a less than ideal spiritual journey. Today, there are plenty of free Christian dating sites you can join to find other Christian singles. Good luck and God Bless.

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