Christians - Dating and the Internet

Dating, as we know it today is a relatively new concept. The idea of a man and a women going “out” alone, without a chaperone was almost unheard of prior to the 1920’s.

In times gone by, people did not date, they courted. And before then, they did not even court, as many countries and cultures followed some form of “marriage by arrangement” traditions.

At the turn of the century, many changes in courtship took place due to the changing political and gender spheres of the country. Women and men rarely interacted due to their separate facilities at school, work, and home (Cate & Lloyd, 1992).

This theme of separation was due partly to the underlying need to protect women's "purity." Therefore, chaperones during courtship calls became a common occurrence. Often times, parents would sit in an adjacent room to where the young couple was in order to listen to the couple's conversation (Delany, Delany, & Hearth, 1993). 

In addition, formality was also increasingly seen as important in courtship. Before speaking to one another, a couple had to be formally introduced and then the mother of the woman would request a "call" from the man. This call implied that the man was to come visit the young woman in the presence of her mother (Cate & Lloyd, 1992). 

As you can see from the above examples - things have really changed.

As far as modern day Christians are concerned and trying to find God’s will as it relates to dating and specifically meeting someone through the Internet; it’s helpful to remember that dating did not exist in biblical times, so the Bible doesn’t speak directly on the subject. Fortunately, God, in His wisdom gave us enough instruction about life to apply to this particular circumstance.

"All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto good works." 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (KJV)

For Christians, it’s important to not only remember the past but to consider the reality of the present. Sure, things are different now, and traditional courtship would be nearly impossible, especially for older singles (30+), but not all change is good or right.

Nevertheless, we find ourselves in a new century, a new millennium and a new era of dating, courtship and marriage not known by any who came before us.

It’s time to exercise wisdom and faith as we enter this new wilderness, and pray that we are not devoured in the journey.

The Internet as with many modern conveniences seems to have been here for a long time and it’s hard to remember life without it; however – even though it may seem older, Internet Dating has only been around since 1994, at least in an organized business form.

The first Internet dating and matchmaking service was Match.com, which now boasts having members in over 240 countries and 18 languages.

Online Dating Magazine estimates that over 20 million people visit at least one online dating service each month.

According to Online Dating Magazine publisher, Joe Tracy, the number of online dating marriages is pretty high. "We estimate the number of overall online dating marriages to be more than 100,000 a year," says Tracy. "Online dating is the best medium, by far, to meet awesome people to date."

Wow, this sounds encouraging doesn’t it, especially if marriage is your goal.

Look – the desire to find a mate – to find love, is a strong one. History if filled with both famous and infamous events and stories that bear witness to the power this desire for love can carry with it. (Think – Helen of Troy).

I could have penned a complete book filled with background information and current statistics to support some of the conclusions I’ve come to, but that was not the calling I felt in this matter.

My purpose in writing Finding Love Online - A Christians Guide To Internet Dating, is to get all single Christians, who want to find a Christian husband or wife, to take a moment and examine their hearts, attitudes and motives when taking the plunge into online dating. Along with this I hope to equip you with information and insights you need so your experience online is a fruitful and edifying one.

Blessings,