When I left my husband, I was so wounded and confused that I didn't have much idea who I was or what marriage was really about. So the first "nice" man who paid attention to me, complimented me, asked me out - and wanted to marry me, pretty much got me. So I had a six month marriage and found out a) I didn't know much about me - but was well on my way to learning and b) I certainly didn't know what it took to make a marriage work - and was well on my way to learning.
So when is it right to start dating after divorce? It's up to you. Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine whether you are really ready:
1. Can I leave my children and not feel guilty? Are you aware that taking care of yourself keeps your kids from feeling responsible for you as they grow up?
2. Have I begun to understand what went wrong with my marriage? Are you looking?
3. Am I willing to take responsibility for my part in the marriage? Are you still seeing it as all his fault?
4. Do I love myself? Do you need to date so someone else can let you know you are OK?
5. Have I learned to enjoy my own company? Are you dating so you don't have to be alone with yourself?
6. Do I have great support while I go on this new adventure with my new self? If you have honest support - a friend, a Life Coach, a therapist - someone who isn't afraid to tell you what they see is true for you.
And there are no mistakes that you can make if you remember that Life Is a School so don't be afraid. It all works out OK.
Maia played key roles for author, John Gray & "Men Are from Mars". Coached, trained, supported 500 speakers to lecture on Mars Venus. I helped train Oprah & staff in a private workshop. Clients say they benefit from gentle wisdom from living what I teach. http://WhatAboutLifeCoaching.com
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