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Dating is a Tough Game to Play
Author: Jane Saeman  | Posted: 12-10-2007 | Comments: 0 | Views: 3 | Rating: (52)  (?) 
Most people want to find someone with which to share their life, but most people find the actual process of finding that special someone something of an ordeal! For anyone seriously looking for a life partner, the dating process is something that needs to be endured in order to find the right person, rather than enjoyed for the social opportunities it affords!
When playing the dating game it's good to start by knowing exactly what it is your hope to achieve, and how you hope to get it -- your game plan. What kind of person are you looking for? What kind of attributes must this person have? What kind of attributes must this person absolutely not have, the deal breakers (this could be anything from a beard to a criminal record!)?
What are you looking for from this relationship once you find a suitable person? What are you not looking for? By figuring out what it is you want from the dating game, you stand more chance of finding it. Saying that you're looking for "the one" is setting yourself up for failure unless you know exactly what "the one" will be like and so you'll recognize them when you meet them!
Once you've identified the kind of person you want to date, next you need to consider where such a person will hang out. Are they likely to be at a nightclub, or perhaps a coffee shop, or maybe a gym/sports club? Think about the kind of activities that such a person will undertake in their free time, and that's where you need to become a regular in order to identify suitable single people.
It could be that your local church or community volunteer group is the right place so get involved with projects around your area could introduce you to a new set of single prospective dates!
Having found people who fit your ideal criteria, you then need to ascertain what they are looking for from a relationship. This doesn't mean that you interrogate them as to what their intentions are, but rather than you chat with them and get a feel if they are looking for the same kind of things in life as you are. A few subtle comments in their social circle should reveal how this person really is when not turning on the charm, and so give you a clearer picture of them.
Although dating is a tough game, by sorting out what it is you're looking for in a date, you'll be able to by-pass those who are not playing by the same rules you are, and move onto to those who match your game plan perfectly.
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Frequently Asked Questions
If you have been married for almost three yrs and ...
By: mary | 14-09-2008
if you have been married for almost three yrs and you found out your husband just co/signed a new car loan for a female co worker what would you do? he swears hes not involved.
What should I do, I have a 8 years love relation ...
By: neva | 13-09-2008
What should I do, I have a 8 years love relation, but the last 2 yeras we are very long-distance emotionaly. I can't deside what shoul I do. Shuold I stay with him and try to fall in love with him again, or should I break up?
The thing is, when I decide to try to be more tender, with hope that the love spark will shine again, he will say something that is makeing me not very compfortable, and on the end of the night, I want to go home faster, but when I try to break up with him, I'm feeling a very big pain, about that! What should I do?
New at dating at age 59
By: Lovealpacas | 12-09-2008
When are just starting to day, how many times should a man take you to dinner before you fix him dinner?
I don't know what to do! Insecurites suck!
By: Courtwizzle19 | 11-09-2008
Okay, so I can't help but think my boyfriend is going to cheat on me! And in all reality, there is absolutly NO reason for me to be feeling that way. He has never done it before, and he always tells me how much he loves me and how I am the best thing that has ever happened to him, and he wants to be with me forever, and there is even talk of starting a family one day. There is so much background here that, its going to take a good couple minutes to explain... First.. a little about me....
Within the last 2 years I have gone through a huge transformation, I have shed about 200 pounds. (boyfriend came after the weight loss) So my self esteem, and self confidence is still struggling. I am still a thick girl for sure, so I still have self image problems...but I know I look a hundred times better.
Also, I think I might have some sort of abandonment issues, Dad left when I was 10, and chose drugs over his family...And it hit me harder then anyone cause I was the closest to him...
So anyways...this guy is a cool good looking nice outgoing person, and I am always thinking, why is he with me!? That sounds absolutely horrible, but I am just expressing exactly what feelings I get. I tell myself all the time, that I am wonderful and I have a great heart, and Im a pretty girl, and blah blah blah, but I still have this horrible insecurity. I work evenings, so whenever he goes out I meet him after work, but its late and he has already been out, and the whole time before I get off I a thinking "omg what is he doing?" and I have these HORRIBLE unnecessary mental images of him making out, or spitting game, or whatever. And Its soooooo horrible and rediculous!!
Now, here is where he IS wrong....he has told me in the past how he cheated on his ex when he was a lot younger...he promises he would never do that to me, and I mean way more then she ever did...but I have always thought, once a cheater, always a cheater, but that was like 5 years ago...so when he told me that it just added more fuel to my fire of insecurities and horrible thoughts.
He really has given me no reason to feel this way, I even went as far as to look through his phone!!!! I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!! Im not a weird possesive girlfriend...I would never do that. But this guys is just such an great catch, and I am so scared to loose him. I feel like im putting to much thought into this and I am almost loosing myself. HELLPP! :( I don't want to feel this way anymore!
Also, he has this best friend, who is a total DOGG! He cheats on his girlfriend all the time. And I feel like he might drag my boyfriend into it too. They always go out with one another, and he always says "come on dude lets go holler at some girls" How inconsiderate! My boyfriend just laughs and rolls his eyes. He says he could never influence him to do anything, but it makes me so nervous, cause they always hang out! Maybe that has something to do with my issues!
A senior and a freshmen dating
By: Megan | 11-09-2008
Im a freshmen in high school, and i really like this senior. He's a virgin, he goes to church, and he doesn't do any drugs or anything like that. Me and him have one class together and I just made the school play, and he promised if i made it he would be a 'techie'. So we're going to spend a lot of time together, and we hang out anyways. I really want to date him, and i know my parents wouldn't approve..so we would just keep them thinking that we're only friends. Yes, i know that can get me into trouble..and not just with them, but me and this guy only hang out when we're with other people. So nothing would happen, and he knows that. Anyways, please let me know what you think. This could be a really good relationship, i just need some opinions. Thanks.
Regrets...............?
By: Bubbaboo | 11-09-2008
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