Article written by Daryl Campbell – The Relationship Tip –Too much negativity can be a drag on any relationship. But there are two things which can end it altogether
You probably do not mean it but you have been doing it for so long that you quietly tell yourself it's just part of your personality. If people can deal with it fine, if not that's their hard luck. After all you didn't ask them to share the same air space.
Ahh but you did actually. You asked someone out on a date and they accepted. Calendars were cleared and the location of the date was agreed upon. The day of the date you and the other person showed up promptly. You complimented each other on your appearances. You even remembered to bring a little gift so far so good.
You go into the restaurant and just as the waiter is escorting you and your date to the table your "personality" kicks in. Why did they have to seat you on this side of the room? It's always too crowded in here. Your date takes this lightly at first but then it dawns on them not only are you serious but it shifted your mood. The two of you start to talk about different things but now you start to complain that they are taking too long with your food. When it does arrive you comment that the food is going to be cold, when you see steam rising from the plate, you grumble it's too hot. How do they expect people to eat when their food is on fire?
Your date is a trouper. They thought they had weathered your storm but the reality is you are just getting warmed up. Everything within eyesight or earshot is fair game. Why are did those people two tables over order the house special? Don't they know what's in it? This cheerful banter keeps up after the two of you leave the restaurant. "Why do people say this or do that? It was stupid for them to build the restaurant at this location. We should have picked a better spot." By now your date is not only looking to end this dreadful experience but to literally run away from you. When you ask them for a second date, their answer is non committal but the body language screams, "Are you kidding?"
Nobody can dispute that but constantly dwelling on the negative can be a drain on anybody who happens to be in your universe. It's not that most people can't take the bitter with the sweet. Life forces that on you. However if being around someone who thinks the sun is always shining can be a pain, going out on a date with someone who sees storm clouds wherever they go is much worse.
Do yourself a favor and lighten up. Yes you want the date to go perfectly but accept the reality that nothing on this earth is flawless. Practice a little self humor as well as patience. If you need help then take your cues from your next date (this one is over). Use their attitude as a guide and stay alert when you find yourself drifting into complain mode.
Above all, start telling yourself that sometimes things are not as bad as you make them out to be. This is going to take a while to learn but stay with it. Not only will your date appreciate it but you will discover how much better you feel mentally, physically and emotionally.
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