Dating, Sex and Smart Thinking

Dating, sex and smarts should all go together in one neatly wrapped package.  Unfortunately, these games of passion can become very confusing when one lacks direction, honor or even “smarts.”  First of all, before you start complicating your mind with the pros and cons of intimacy and how it works, first try and come to a conclusion on where you stand on sexual issues.

Sex is a good thing and you should never feel as if it’s a low or immoral act.  You could say that the act of sex is the “ultimate comfortable act.”  It makes people feel better, feel desired and feel emotionally satisfied.  Sex also has all sorts of positive health effects to boot, such as the releasing of endorphins and dopamine, not to mention the fact that it counts as a calorie-burning exercise.

That said, each woman must make up her own mind as to when sex is appropriate.  According to your own perspective, you may not be ready to have sex and shouldn’t let anyone persuade you into believing otherwise.  Some younger women may not be prepared for the consequences of sexual behavior, not limited to unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and hurt emotions. 

There is no universal standard as to when two people “should have sex”, as in date #4 or “when he buys you a really expensive gift.”  The simple truth is that you will be ready to have intercourse when you are physically and emotionally capable of handling the consequences.  You have the right to decide when and where you will enjoy this beautiful act. 

The only requirement is that you be upfront and honest about what you want from a partner.  Communication is vital here, and honesty is far more important than setting a mood of “romance.”  Do not play games when it comes to sex.  Teasing a man only to let him down may hurt his confidence or send very mixed signals—the likes of which could easily send him into the arms of another woman.

If and when you believe you are ready, continue to accelerate the emotional bonding.  Do this until you progress into the next step, which is letting passions ignite through kissing.  When is a kiss appropriate?  It usually happens when the man is comfortable about reaching out for this contact, and when he is fairly sure that you will accommodate him. 

Don’t worry about the first kiss being awkward, first time gestures usually are.  Don’t force the kiss; let it happen naturally and always let it be an “in the moment”, once-in-a-lifetime experience.