Dating Tips for Big, Beautiful Women (bbw)

Being a single, large, big-beautiful-woman (BBW) in society today is no longer the maiden-aunt life sentence it use to be. There are so many dating options now thanks to the internet that I was overwhelmed when I started my own personal dating journey. As an over-achiever, I worked hard in school for good grades and currently work even harder for managerial approval at my day job. I never took the time to work equally as hard at having a satisfying personal life or making my personal life a priority. At some point, most adult human's need to have either companionship, love, intimacy, deeper friendships or a family of one's own. That feeling or need may happen at any age, but it's how we respond that may determine our level of success and personal satisfaction. Over the years, I have watched close friends, siblings and cousins begin new relationships, get married and start young families. All the while, I desired the same, dated from time to time but never put the required energy or attention into my relationships. As I reflect back, I believe it is because I was never happy with my physical self as a large woman and believed no one was seriously interested in a long-term relationship. That was my excuse but in reality I believe I could not be happy in a relationship until I was happy with myself. As an older more wiser adult, I have grown to love myself for who I am and now give myself permission to be loved by others.

The fragile confidence it takes to promote yourself as potential mate is often thwarted by societies disdain for overweight people. Larger people may be too shy to approach others in very public and social situations and others attracted to large people may be too shy to approach them. As if we walk around society with the proverbial scarlet BBW letters on our clothes. Women, especially conservative ones, often wait for potential mates to approach them and find themselves waiting a very long time. If you are large woman reading this, you may identify. After talking with people about their own experiences, I was astounded at the number of friends, family members and their acquaintances relaying stories of how they met their boyfriends, girlfriends or now spouses from online dating. The online dating community has exploded in recent years. Once a taboo avenue for finding a mate, now has become so popular that it is almost common place. If it was not for one of my good friends that I respect very much telling me his story of how he and his wife met through a dating chat room online, I would never have explored this world on my own. I was eager to do my own research yet very cautious to keep my identity safe until I felt comfortable with people enough to take the steps towards an actual in person date.

As a starting point, I went to http://www.craigslist.org (CL) which I had used a thousand times before for buying and selling items as well as looking for apartments to rent. I never paid much attention to the personals section. I scrolled through, browsing the posts people had left. Most of which I personally found too aggressive and sexually explicit. There is a search function that allows you to narrow the results. Obviously people can easily lie about what they look like but often rarely lie about what they want or seek in a partner. If people say they are attracted to larger people they are usually telling the truth. After further review I realized it had sections for all seeking different dating desires, even a platonic section. The great thing about CL is that it is localized. Meaning your can narrow your potential responses down geographically. The worst thing about CL is that unlike other sites that ask for personality trait information upfront, you would need to discover that about those who may respond on your own, which takes time.

There are a number of other sites that are tailored for larger men and women looking for friends, lovers, life partners and spouses. The most popular of those sites are http://www.largefriends.com/, http://www.bigcupid.com and http://www.bbwharmony.com/.

If you are curious and interested in trying online dating for the first time, browse all the different sites available and find one that matches your needs. There are a number of options to finding love, companionship, intimacy and romance in this new millennium. I am hopeful for myself and believe I am finally ready to give love and let myself be loved in returned. I have been on 3 dates thus far after many online email exchanges, real and current photo swaps for honesty sake and phone conversations. Each time I met them in very public places and told others, trusted friends and family, about the dates so I didn't feel I was going it alone. One of the dates was a movie date that was surprisingly bad. I say surprisingly because he was the one I had the most in common with and thought had the more attractive face. No connection what so ever, almost laughable. But, I dusted myself off and tried again. The next date I had was a lunch date during the middle of the work week day. Which means there was not a lot of time to gleam any real personal information. It was light and friendly and he was very funny. He made a parting comment about how pretty he thought I was which made me blush. So, I moved on to date number three. A lawyer who was nice and had a very interesting career and seemed very responsible. He seems like a very good man, quiet and serious. I am still looking but I have made dinner plans with date number two and continue to email and phone date number three.

As advice to anyone contemplating online dating for the first time, be well prepared to actually have something to say to people. Write down your interests, your travels and hobbies as reference material. Think of short stories within your life to tell. If it helps, take an honest assessment of your likes and dislikes and do not compromise. I hate seafood, therefore if someone suggested to take me out to a seafood restaurant I would kindly refuse then offer one of my favorite places to go. Now, of course there are a number of expensive places I would like to try but would not like to take advantage of this new dates wallet. I would be honest and tell them the truth that they were places on my list but not places I frequent. Men are just as insecure about their bank accounts as women are about their hips. Be realistic about your expectations but then again don't settle for Taco Bell unless Taco Bell is your favorite restaurant. Honesty here is the best policy to finding people that really match you. Also, think about things you would like to do. I never knew there were so many people out there that were scuba divers! It's insane want people write. For my profile, most of the people responded because they said mine was the most honest sounding, direct and down to earth.

If someone would have told me a year ago I would be going out on multiple dates within the span of a month I would have laughed at the thought. Now, I just wonder what took me so long to see that I deserve these suitors. In the end, maybe you will even gain more friends.

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PS: This article is Written by Ross Taylor, an editor at iTechnoWorld Inc.