Balancing a dating relationship and the rest of your life, including work, friends and family, can be difficult. Especially when you're just starting out in a dating relationship. You don't want to move too fast, but you don't want to go too slow. Dating women (or men) isn't easy, but it doesn't have to be too hard. Just find the balance between making her a part of your life and still managing your life.
Balancing Dating Women and a Life
Just like a balanced diet can be hard to find and maintain, balancing dating women and the rest of your life can be difficult. Make it a little easier by:
Setting boundaries: Decide when you can spend time together. Maybe during the week you just can't do it, but you can spend the whole weekend with her. When you first start dating women, or at least a new woman, this might be a reasonable balance. Or maybe you're free after a certain time in the evening during the week. For awhile, separating the time is wise. It allows you to get to know one another without feeling overwhelmed.
Wait to introduce her to your family. This is particularly important because when you're dating women, because for a woman, meeting the family is a big deal. If you've ever seen "Sex and the City," you might have seen the episode where Carrie tracks Big to church to meet his mother. It didn't go so well. Avoid her going to desperate measures. Both also avoid scaring her off. In another episode, when Carrie's dating Aden, he wants to introduce her to his family, but she thinks it's too soon. Ask her if she's ready, and if it's important to you, let her know.
Turn off the cell. Seriously. Or at the very least, separate the time with your girlfriend from your time at work by not taking her calls while you're working. "Bridget Jones Diary" gives a perfect reason, when Bridget calls up her boyfriend, Mark to talk to him about their previous evening and he's on a conference call. When you're dating women, make sure she understands your need to keep it separate. Vice versa, when you're with her, don't take calls from work. The project can wait until tomorrow. It's important that she knows that your time with her is important, and that you won't get a call and cancel the date that she's been waiting for.
Discuss goals. When you're dating women, they'll often want to see the big picture, sometimes before you're ready for it. Discuss your goals, whether you want to get married, have kids and what your dream job is - and if you have a time scale, share it. This will not only keep you on the same page, but it will let her know where she falls into your life.
Discuss work, money and family. These might be something that your reserve for when you're serious, but they're important topics. When you're dating women, it's wise to have a general idea of what you want to happen. Because she'll want to know, too. And it gives both of you time to get out if you want different things.
Especially when the relationship is just getting off the ground, finding a balance between dating women and the rest of your life can be incredibly frustrating. You're glad you're not single, but maybe you need a little bit of space. Don't be afraid to take it. It'll be good for both of you.
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