Dating Women - Women Dating a Soldier Home on Leave

You can't believe it. It's been six months and he's finally coming home. You can see his plane circling to land. You can't wait to run into his arms, kiss him – and then go home and let the fun get started. But that's not how it works. You kiss him, but you feel weird. You hug him, but he doesn't feel the same way. His smile's not familiar. And then the panic sets in: you only have two weeks, but you don't even know who he is anymore.

Meeting and Greeting

Not every dating women goes through hysterics when she first sees the soldier she's dating after a long period of time. But a lot of women do have the panicky feeling set in after a few hours. He's changed. So have you. And you've been apart for a long time, so the things you're expecting to happen aren't necessarily going to go the way you plan. Remember when you pick him up that you're both expecting to see the people you were – and you're both someone different. He's been in a war zone. You've learned to adjust to life without him. That will affect your dating relationship.

Women dating a soldier home on leave is difficult because you only have a short time to essentially remember one another, spend time together and then say goodbye. You have to figure out how you've changed, and you have to figure out how your soldier. Whatever you're expecting to happen, it will be different, even if you've done it before. Dating relationships change all the time, particularly when the couple isn't together.

Some things to prepare for include:

*Expecting to pick up right where you left off, but not being able

*Not knowing what the other person in the dating relationship expects from you

*Not being sure how to talk to the person you're dating because he's changed

*Feeling like you're drifting apart

*Feeling like nothing you do is right

Going Out

It stands to reason that in the last six months or so, you've developed your own habits. The person you're dating isn't a part of those. In fact, he expects, and probably wants, to do the things you were doing before. If the places you used to go are gone or different, it's going to shock him. He might not react how you expect him to react. This is when you have to compromise: instead of making the person dating do what you want to do, try to come up with something you both want to do or take turns. Remember, if you want to do something that's important to you, you're going to have to tell him that. He can't read your mind.

You might have to change your schedule or take vacation time. Remember, the soldier you're dating is on vacation. He might want to do things that you don't have time to if you're working.  Besides, you're dating him so you clearly want to spend time with him. Figure it out.

In the Bedroom

The hardest part about dating someone you haven't seen in a long time is the intimacy. If you haven't seen your boyfriend in a long time, it's going to feel weird. You might be uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean you won't want to have sex. It does mean that things will probably feel awkward. If you're lucky, the soldier you're dating will understand and will take the time to make you feel comfortable. He'll let you remember him and get to know him again.

Even if you're just in a long-distance dating relationship intimacy after a long period of time can cause problems. If you and your partner have been discussing sex, your expectations and doing things to make it easier along the way, you might have a less-difficult time. However, you will still probably be surprised for when he comes home. The dynamic has changed.

Ways to Spend Time While He's Home

There's no sure-fire way to make the time pass more quickly and to make the awkwardness of your dating relationship wear off. For some, it takes just a few hours. Some don't have it at all. Theoretically, the closer you've been able to stay while he was gone, the easier it will be able to readjust to having him home. But that's not always the case.

In order to get to know the person you're dating again, you need to spend time together. If you don't make time for the other person, you're dating relationship will fail. When he leaves to head back, things will fall through the cracks and you won't know what happened. Some ways to get to know the person you're dating again, and make sure his time home is enjoyable, include:

*Taking a short vacation: this gives you alone time and time in a new location, which might make adjusting easier

*Visiting places you used to hang out: Even if the bar or restaurant has changed, it still has a familiar air, and if nothing else, it's a conversation starter

*Don't force him to talk

*Enjoy just being together

*Tell him about what you've been doing and how you've changed

Saying Good-Bye

Throughout the time when the person you're dating has been home, most dating women are on an emotional rollercoaster. He's there, but not for long. He's been in a war zone, and he's probably changed. You've just gotten used to him and he's going out. You want to have sex, but you're too scared.

No matter what it was like having him home, saying good-bye isn't going to be easy. Some things to make the rest of the time easier for both you and the person you're dating include:

*Sending pictures

*Sending packages

*Becoming familiar with the base he's on, even if it's just from asking questions

*Understand the tie between him and the others in the unit

Dating relationships really can improve when the other person is gone. You learn to work through problems and you learn to take care of yourself. The problem is when he's home again and you have to figure out not only who you are, but who the person you're dating is. You also have to figure out where the dating relationship is heading – and if it's heading anywhere at all.