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Decoding the Mystery - Tips on Dating Girls, What Every Man Should Know

She says "yes" when she means "no." She has ten thousand different smiles and she expects you to understand them all. She demands equality but expects to be treated like a lady. Girls. Can't live with them, but you can't live without them either. So what's a guy dating a girl to do? Here are tips on how to decode the mystery of the female gender. And yes, guys, it's written by a girl.

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Plain and simple. The first rule a guy has got to remember when dating girls is the value of respect. Respect is something crucial for all human relationships - it helps us to treat people with the dignity that they deserve. Treat a woman with utmost care and respect and you can never go wrong.

2. Decoding the Alien-Speak: put yourself in her shoes.

It's Friday night. The boys are hanging out to play some poker. You call your girl and ask her if it's okay to cancel your usual Friday night dinner so you can catch up with the pals. She hesitatingly says: "Okay, if that's what you really want." You thank your lucky stars that you have such an understanding woman. But when you get home that night and call up your chick, she refuses to pick up. What's up with that? The reason why girls and guys are never quite on the same page is because they never seem to read signals right. Some girls give obvious ones: pouting or frowning means trouble and smiling means everything's going well. But others hide their feelings too well.

The only advice I can give is this: in trying to decode girl-speak (i.e. confusing and sometimes misleading talk), the key is to put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if your girlfriend seems more eager to spend the weekend with her friends than you? What would you think if she remains "best friends" with her ex? Try to get into her head. Once you do, it'll be easier for you to decipher the truth behind the alien-speak. And, you can then give her the reassurance that she needs.

3. Watch the Body Language: When "yes" means "yes" and "no" means "no."

A lot of guys are virtually clueless when it comes to telling whether or not a girl likes him. And indeed life would be so much easier if we could send "do you like me? Check yes or no" notes to each other like we did in eighth grade. But the grown-up world is complicated. And girls seldom say what they mean (we like using metaphors and ironies, guys!). So, how do you really know that a girl is not saying "yes" when she means "no" and vice-versa? Simple: watch the body language.

Crossed arms and legs, an averted face and the refusal to make eye contact are all strong signals that a girl is not interested. And so are the many excuses not to go out with you (sometimes a girl is just too kind to say a flat-out "no"). The reverse - eye contact, smiling, leaning towards you in conversations, touching your arm - could be signals that a girl is interested in you, despite what she says ("No way, I so do not like him!"). Reading body language may not be 100% fool-proof, but it could be something.

In the end, when it comes to dating girls, always be a perfect gentleman. Being sensitive to her feelings will help you decode all the mumbo-jumbo women sometimes make in matters of the heart. And when you do, everything will be just fantastic.

Bernice Eker

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