Divorce Support Groups

Divorce is becoming one such problem, eroding the very base of our society; marriage. More and more marriages are breaking up leaving behind scores of confused, hurt and lonely people. The effects are there for all to see as we come across broken families, disillusioned spouses and children with behavioural problems.

One of the main effects of divorce is a sense of alienation and loneliness a person experiences right after the divorce. There is a loss of common friends and of extended family. He suffers in isolation during the most difficult period of his life. It is a challenging time for anyone and the person needs as many people around him as possible. Unfortunately, often the opposite becomes true.

Emotions run high after a divorce, lots of problems await solution, there are many unanswered questions and you are embarrassed to face the world. At a time like this it is comforting to have someone listening to you. Interacting with like minded people who have undergone similar experience goes a long way in understanding and facing the situation squarely.

It is not always possible to involve close family or friends in it as you feel you have let them down. They might have close relationship with the ex spouse. Also, sometime it is easier to share personal details with complete strangers than close family.

This is where the support groups for divorce come in. A divorce support group is a ready made network of people who are or have been through a similar situation as yours. Groups can be large and small, professionally operated or member run but all of them provide understanding and mutual support and an exchange of useful, pragmatic information too.

Group members of a support group meet periodically to talk. The focus of the groups is on letting go off the past in order to move forward and rebuild life. You can consult your attorney, counsellor, internet, yellow pages or local church to gain access to such groups in your area.

The initial meetings in the group might be uncomfortable and inhibited. With time you will be able to open up and the healing process will start as you will see yourself leaving bitterness and resentment behind. You will regain your confidence and have more faith in what life has in store for you.

Sometimes the healing process works in reverse. As you help and reassure other members of the group, you see your own pain disappearing. It fills you with positive energy and in control of the situation. Some support groups go beyond mutual support and help you in legal action and financial advice.

Finding the right group is very important to ensure maximum success. Look for a group that fits your need and makes you feel comfortable. There are some things to consider while selecting a support group:

1. Therapy or Support Groups: Therapy groups are managed by professionals, have fees and have strict conditions of attendance. Support groups on the other hand are often free; more member-oriented and have a relaxed and helpful atmosphere.

2. Size: Choose a group size that will serve you better. Large groups can make you feel lost and unattended. They also provide you the anonymity you might prefer. Smaller groups give each member a chance and time to be heard.

3. Men, Women or Mixed: A mixed group helps you see both sides of the coin and help reduce resentment towards other gender. It might not allow you to drop your inhibitions and express all your feelings though. Same gender group lets you open up without getting conscious.

4. Location: A group relatively closer to home will not only be convenient but will also encourage more attendance.

5. Frequency: Every group has fixed intervals between meetings. Choose the one which meets as often as you would need them to effectively help you.

6. Commitment: Some groups require a commitment of 10 weeks, or three months, or some other time period. Others are open-ended, letting you attend as long as you want or letting you quit with just a two week notice.

Going to a support group will see you meeting complete strangers and forging life time friendships with them. It saves you from the agony of suffering in isolation. What is also important to remember though is that they are not a replacement for professional therapy, counseling and medication.