Kim lives in San Francisco, CA and is the proud mother two very energetic, very wonderful boys. Kim is an entrepreneur, writer, avid reader and loves corny jokes and stadium mustard. Visit www.kimhess.com to find out how she keeps that sparkle in her eye while wading through the cesspool we call divorce!
I filed for divorce almost nine months ago. Because my ex is a spiteful man, we are not officially divorced yet. I’m sure once he gets over losing the best thing that ever happened to him, he’ll stop delaying the signing of the divorce papers. But I digress. I felt it was time to move on with my life and start dating. Right off the bat I met a wonderful man. Let’s call him Frenchie (because he’s French). My friends and family marveled at my ability to snag such a great guy my first dating experience out of a 12 year relationship. Frenchie was smart, had great taste in everything. He bought me a book on our third date, always took me to expensive restaurants with white tablecloths, and surprised me with tickets to a sold out R.E.M. concert. I wasn’t particularly thrilled with going to see a band where the lead singer is like in his 50’s but ya know I was expanding my music knowledge. And I swear I was the only black person there but okay anything for my French lover, right?
He spoiled me, I adored him. We met for coffee in the middle of the day, he’d email me funny jokes, and we talked politics while sipping wine. I was in heaven. Until he disappeared. No phone call, no email, no text. I called. I emailed. I texted. Basically I stalked. Nothing. Finally there was an email. I excitedly clicked on it expecting apologies, dinner plans, an “I’ve been so stressed out at work, but now I realize how inconsiderate I’ve been” plea. What did I get you wonder?
I got “I need time to think this through.” That’s what I got. Yep, that’s it. Shocking huh? To me anyway. A girlfriend of mine who didn’t know my heart had been smashed to little pieces asked me “How’s Frenchie doing?” My reply was a flood of tears and excuses about how he’s afraid of getting hurt again because of his divorce( which was over 3years ago!); how our relationship was so perfect that it probably freaked him out…you get the picture. My girlfriend’s reply? Yep, you guessed it: “Maybe he’s just not that into you.”
Let’s cut this sad story short. He’s just not that into me. (Read the book: He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He's_Just_Not_That_Into_You ).
This is exactly the reason why I got divorced. My husband just wasn’t that into me anymore. So why would I waste time with someone else that isn’t just that into me. Why are you? Trust me; there are plenty of people willing to swim shark infested waters to bring you a glass of lemonade (thanks Dr. Laura!). Why waste your incredible being on someone who won’t even call you?!
Moral of the story, ladies and gentlemen, is that you have a lot to offer. Isn’t it time you demand someone who is worthy of what an awesome person you are. You know you are. You treat the one’s you love great; you should be treated great too! You also know it was your ex’s issue with themselves, not you that probably facilitated why they just weren’t that into you. You deserve the best! I deserve the best! Stop pining over that lost love, and realize they weren’t good enough for you. And be honest…are you really all that into them now?!
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