How do you know if what you are feeling is love or just simply lust for that other person? Well the dictionary clearly defines lust as an "intense longing" while love is being described as" strong affection for another person coming from close kinship or personal ties". As you can see there is a big difference between the two.
When two people has become involved and has time invested into the relationship it is important that both parties know where they stand. Is it love or is it lust? In the beginning it might not always be easy to see if you are in it for love or is it simply lust for that other person. In this article you might be able to find some definitions which may help you in seeing what you are in your current relationship for.
Love has a positive affect on a relationship because when love exists in a relationship both partners hold the happiness of the other in a high esteem and place the happiness of their partner ahead of their own desires. Love affects relationships in a myriad of ways including how the couple interacts, the leisure activities they participate in and the longevity of the relationship.
In a loving relationship the couple behaves thoughtfully towards each other and is mindful of their partner's feelings. In this type of relationship, each partner places themselves ahead of their partner and they strive to treat each other lovingly and with respect. Also, in a loving relationship the leisure activities that the couple participates in are based on a mutual love and respect. Activities are chosen with careful consideration to the partner's feelings. In a loving relationship the partners typically engage in activities that they either strongly agree on or those that are a compromise.
While a couple in a loving relationship may not always be in complete agreement regarding leisure activities, they strive to compromise to ensure that both partners have the opportunity to engage in their preferred activities. Finally a relationship that is based on love is usually long lasting. The presence of love in the relationship enables a couple to work through any problems or difficulties that arise in the relationship and helps the relationship to endure. The thoughtfulness and caring that exists in a loving relationship helps the relationship to grown and endure.
Conversely a lustful relationship may not necessary have a negative affect on a relationship but it also may not be as positive as a loving relationship. Similarly to love, lust also affects a relationship in regard to how the couple interacts, the activities the couple participate in and the durability of the relationship. The primary difference between a lustful and a loving relationship is that while in a loving relationship the partners place a high value on the happiness of their partner, a lustful relationship is one in which the partners are consumed by their own desires.
The partners in a lustful relationship place their needs and wants ahead of their partner's desires. This alone is enough to make their partner feel disrespected and to not place a high value on the relationship. The fundamental selfishness that exists in a lustful relationship trickles down and affects the activities in which the couple participates. While those in a loving relationship strive to compromise and find activities that they both enjoy, those in a lustful relationship are more prone to insist on participating in activities that they enjoy regardless of whether or not their partner will also enjoy this activity.
One final characteristic of a lustful relationship is that it is typically short lived. A lustful relationship is driven by passion and desire and once a goal is reached the partner becomes no longer desirable. With nothing else to drive the relationship it soon begins to wane and the couple often separates. Lustful relationships are characterized by a selfishness and lack of respect that typically results in a short and tumultuous relationship.
Complicating the issue of separating love and lust is that it is often possible for lust to exist within a loving relationship. The existence of lust within a loving relationship is often driven by a desire to become closer to the partner. This is a natural occurrence as a physical relationship is extremely important in a romantic relationship. When lust exists within a loving relationship it is not necessarily detrimental to the relationship. As long as the lust does not take over the love and become the dominant characteristic it can be a healthy part of the relationship.
The opposite is not true, however. A lustful relationship can not also include love. The primary characteristic of selfishness does not enable love to factor into a lustful relationship. Placing your own desires ahead of your partner's precludes the formation of a loving bond. While it's not possible to have a lustful relationship with the existence of love a little bit of lust mixed into a loving relationship can lead to a closer connection and stronger bond for the couple.
Before someone ends up being hurt it might be wise to figure out what your relationship is built on. If both of you are in it for love you should be ok, but if you are in it for two different reasons you are heading for trouble because lust is bound to fade. The sooner you discuss this issue with your partner the better. At least you both know where the other stand as far as your relationship and before it goes to far someone has an option of getting out before hurting the other.
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