First Dating Advice For Parents

The unthinkable has happened. Your baby girl - wasn't she in diapers just a few weeks ago - has announced that she wants to go on a date. If you're like most parents, your first reaction is probably to lock her in a tower like Rapunzel until she comes to her senses. But that will only prolong the inevitable. Instead, why not follow this first dating advice to make sure her first date is safe and fun.

First Dating Advice #1: Insist Upon Meeting the Boy

Teenage fashion being what it is, try to keep an open mind about the color of his hair and clothing and about the number of tattoos and body piercings. Instead, focus on his behavior. Does he treat your daughter with respect? When you speak to him, does he respond appropriately? Trust your gut instinct. If your intuition warns you there is something amiss, cancel the date.

First Dating Advice #2: Ask When, Where, With Whom, and How Long

Ask your daughter to describe the evening's plan in detail. (When you meet her date, you can ask him the same question to make sure the details match.) Feel free to nix any part of the plan you don't like. (E.g., "A movie sounds great, but I don't want you going to that party afterwards.")

First Dating Advice #3: Make Sure Your Daughter Has a Way to Get in Touch with You

Give your daughter a cell phone and a couple of quarters in case she needs to use a payphone. Make sure she knows all your numbers (home, cell, work, etc.). Tell her that if she ever feels uncomfortable or thinks she is in danger to call you immediately. Tell her that you will come immediately and that any discussion of what happened can be postponed until the next day if necessary. Make sure your daughter knows you are strong enough to hear anything she has to say.

First Dating Advice #4: Debrief

Wait up for your daughter after the date. Observe her mood and behavior. Does she seem happy or sad? Does she walk steadily? Is there alcohol on her breath? The next day, ask your daughter to tell you about the date. Share any observations you may have made. (E.g., "You say you had a great time, but when you came in last night you slammed the front door and you looked really angry. What was that about?").

Your daughter's first date can be a frightening experience for you as a parent. Using this first dating advice can help keep your daughter safe and you sane.