Kathleen Falken has participated in psychic research, dreamstudy, marriage counseling and the practice of psychology for almost 40 years. See more of her articles at WUVING.com www.wuving.com
That First Date is the Big One.
Here is how to succeed - and find that real love you've been seeking.
ALWAYS look your best. I know this sounds REALLY obvious but you'd be surprised by how many men don't understand the importance of this simple tip. You never know when the girl of your dreams will turn up, or where. And it's become a bit of a cliché because it's true -- first impressions really do count. If you make a GOOD first impression on a woman, you have a 90% chance of EVER getting with her at that point (10% of women for whatever reason will be unreachable for most men at ANY point - she might like women herself etc).
If you make a BAD first impression your chances with her reduce drastically to just 20%. This means that to make her attracted to you AFTER the first 3 minutes of meeting her will be incredibly difficult if her first impressions of you were bad.
As relationship expert Tiffany Taylor says, "It's the difference between climbing a mountain and using a helicopter to fly up one. Good first impressions means you're on your way to the top in the helicopter, bad first impressions means you have a difficult climb to success - no helicopters for you." So true!
Honestly, I can't stress this enough -- always try to look your best.
Shave. Shower. Stylish. Smell. Shoes.
Remember these 5 S's and always take care of them before you go out. Why are shoes my number 5 S?
Your shoes are the FIRST thing a woman really notices about your clothing and hence your appearance. Make sure your shoes are clean and fashionable.
What you wear is very important. I could try to recommend a certain look but as with all things fashionable by the time you read this it may have changed.
Get the latest GQ magazine or other fashionable men's magazine's and imitate the styles you see there -- most women don't really care what labels you are wearing as long as you look good so you don't have to spend the Earth on clothing.
Many guys I help dress better usually comment on how strange they feel wearing clothes they are uncomfortable in, but nine times out of 10 they start to feel natural and even confident wearing their new wardrobe within days.
Make sure you smell good. Again this is extremely important. Remember how you feel when a woman walks by you and she smells soooo good - you feel an instant attraction even though you don't know her - well, that's how women feel too.
Wear a good-quality cologne, but don't spray too much.
One squirt on both sides of the neck, and one squirt on both wrists -- maximum. You don't want to smell too overpowering.
Body language is VERY important. According to studies carried out over 50% of your communication comes from your body language - what you DON'T say and less then 8% of your communication comes from what you DO say.
>> 1. Smile
You have to make the female feel at ease and comfortable that you are a friendly and fun guy and you are not a psycho as quick as possible. Especially when talking to her for the first time. You also need to let her know that you are confident and comfortable around women. A big and genuine smile is the best way to do this. It works. In fact, if you ever get an Ice Queen that you can tell is about to give you the "dead eye", give her a big smile. Practice smiling at random people. You'll be surprised by how many people smile back and at how many doors open to you. Smiling WORKS. Just don't make it a cheesy, fake smile ;)
>> 2. Eye contact
As you know there's nothing worse than staring at a woman's chest - or even looking. It makes you just like all the other guys who drool over her. If anything you should use all your skill to NOT look at her chest - she'll wonder why her womanly powers don't work with you and she'll seek your attention and subconsciously TRY to get you to look!
When talking to her, try to maintain eye contact. Not too much because it can be intimidating, but if you aim to have eye contact with her around 70% of the time you are talking, this should be comfortable for most women. Don't stare like a crazy man, just be natural but if you naturally look away or are slightly shy when it comes to eye contact, make a conscious effort to have a little more.
Eye contact can make serious connections within people. They say the eyes are a window to the soul and I think there may be some truth to that. There are even speed dating type events being run that involve just staring into each others eyes - and from what I hear, they are pretty successful.
Maintain eye contact. Not too much, about 70% of conversation time. Be natural.
>> 3. Upright posture
Guys can get away with a bit of a hunch, but women really do prefer men with straight, upright postures. Look at all the big film actors like Pitt, Cruise etc. They all have good posture. It says to a woman you are confident, healthy, and strong (at least in mind). It's just generally more attractive and says lots about who you are. Plus it's good for your back and will help strengthen your back muscles making it easier to maintain.
Get into the HABIT of having an upright posture.
>> 4. Gesticulate with open palms.
BODY LAUNGUAGE
I've gone into in depth studies of body language and this one is a good one to use in MANY circumstances - I've adapted it here after solid testing to picking up women - however, some people suggest that when combined with a few other verbal and non-verbal techniques it can even give you a 50/50 chance of getting out of speeding fines!
Anyway, basically, when you are talking to a woman and trying to make a point (that puts you in a positive light) or defend yourself (for example, a girl suggests you might be a player) you talk and using your hands you have open palms facing upwards. Keep your arms in front of your body with your palms facing the sky and smile as you talk.
It works VERY well on a subconscious level to suggest you are being honest and telling the truth. And if you want a woman to begin to trust you, making her think you are being straight with her, is important.
This open palm gesticulation MUST be combined with a smile to work effectively.
See more articles by top relationship experts at WUVING.com
WUVING.com is loaded with tips and articles from the top experts in relationships. Among them, are Michael Webb of OPRAH SHOW fame, whose articles have appeared in over 50 magazines such as Redbook and Woman's World. And Kara Oh, selling author of MARRIAGE MADE EASY and has appeared on CBS News and FOX News and in magazines like Cosmopolitan and Woman's World. And Tiffany Taylor brings her expertize to help with those anxious first dates.
And the people you can immediately reach are "men and women found locally and worldwide."
What WUVING.com has done is specialize in individual needs of people looking for real love and romance. You can meet people in our military, singles, people of all sizes and races -- in other words -- real people!
To Meet The Love of Your Life - See WUVING.com!
-Kathleen Falken
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