How to Complain to Your Partner Without Them Knowing it

<h1>How to Complain to Your Partner Without Them Knowing it</h1>Author: <a title="Peter Harris" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/authors/peter-harris/52221.htm">Peter Harris</a> Negativity breeds negativity.  I don't know who said that but it certainly is true.  If you've been around negative people then you know what I am talking about.  When all you hear is negative thoughts and comments sooner or later they will affect you in a negative way as well.  Can you always tell when your partner is complaining about something, whether it is directly or indirectly related to you, or not related to you at all?  My guess is that you probably can.  Most of us complain outwardly.  We don't try to disguise it.  If you are complaining to your partner about something that you want them to change about themselves or something you want them to do remember - negativity breeds negativity.  This approach will likely foster a negative response from them and not get you what you need or want.
There is a way to express your "complaints" in a subtle manner to it won't be obvious to your partner that you are upset about something or that you want something to change.  If you attack your partner and put them on the defensive then they will attack back.  If you are accusatory or demeaning expect them to respond in a similar manner.  You can change your approach and avoid attacking the other.  This will likely calm their response to being less defensive and the outcome will be more favorable for both of you. 
So instead of saying "I'm sick of looking at that grass - when are you going to cut it?" try something like "the grass is getting long again.  I'd like to help cut it but the lawnmower is too heavy.  Do you think you could get to it in the next day or two?"  You haven't attacked your partner.  You offered to help.  You gave him a chance to decide when he will cut the grass instead of telling him he had to get out there and do it right away.  Here's another example:  "Quit throwing your clothes all over the bedroom like a slob.  Put them in the hamper!"  Instead try something like this:  "If we would both consistently put our dirty clothes in the hamper I would be more likely to carry it to the laundry room to help out."  Again, no attack on your partner.  You included yourself as part of the problem by stating that we both had to put our clothes in the hamper, and you offered to help by carrying it to the laundry area.   About the Author: If you would like to read more about relationships and receive my new free ebook then <a href="http://www.my-linker.com/hop/whymenleave"> click here now.</a> 
 
Peter Harris is a health care professional and author and writes frequently about relationships.Article Source: <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/">ArticlesBase.com</a> - <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-complain-to-your-partner-without-them-knowing-it-462968.html" title="How to Complain to Your Partner Without Them Knowing it">How to Complain to Your Partner Without Them Knowing it</a>

Negativity breeds negativity. I don't know who said that but it certainly is true. If you've been around negative people then you know what I am talking about. When all you hear is negative thoughts and comments sooner or later they will affect you in a negative way as well. Can you always tell when your partner is complaining about something, whether it is directly or indirectly related to you, or not related to you at all? My guess is that you probably can. Most of us complain outwardly. We don't try to disguise it. If you are complaining to your partner about something that you want them to change about themselves or something you want them to do remember - negativity breeds negativity. This approach will likely foster a negative response from them and not get you what you need or want.

There is a way to express your "complaints" in a subtle manner to it won't be obvious to your partner that you are upset about something or that you want something to change. If you attack your partner and put them on the defensive then they will attack back. If you are accusatory or demeaning expect them to respond in a similar manner. You can change your approach and avoid attacking the other. This will likely calm their response to being less defensive and the outcome will be more favorable for both of you.

So instead of saying "I'm sick of looking at that grass - when are you going to cut it?" try something like "the grass is getting long again. I'd like to help cut it but the lawnmower is too heavy. Do you think you could get to it in the next day or two?" You haven't attacked your partner. You offered to help. You gave him a chance to decide when he will cut the grass instead of telling him he had to get out there and do it right away. Here's another example: "Quit throwing your clothes all over the bedroom like a slob. Put them in the hamper!" Instead try something like this: "If we would both consistently put our dirty clothes in the hamper I would be more likely to carry it to the laundry room to help out." Again, no attack on your partner. You included yourself as part of the problem by stating that we both had to put our clothes in the hamper, and you offered to help by carrying it to the laundry area.

If you would like to read more about relationships and receive my new free ebook then click here now.

Peter Harris is a health care professional and author and writes frequently about relationships.

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Article Tags: How To Complain To Your Partner, How To Complain To Your Spouse, How To Complain To Your Girlfriend, How To Complain To Your Boyfriend

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