How to Lie - Convincing yourself First

After observing many people have affairs and watching people tell obvious lies and omit the truth, I’ve come to discover two things about liars and lying: most people are not nearly as good at lying as they think they are, and great lying is much more difficult than most people (usually those who are not that good at it) think it is.

To tell a lie is easy. In a study about lying it was revealed that students lie in 77% of their conversations with strangers, 48% with acquaintances, and 28% with good friends. Even though most of these lies would qualify as fibs or white lies and are not the type of lies that those of us who cheat are going to be telling, I just want to use that piece of information to make a point. Lying about trivial daily things is easy, but lying convincingly about something important is more challenging.

However, the most difficult (and most impressive) lies are the ones that not only convince someone that what you're saying is true, but also simultaneously sends them in a totally different direction, making them cast doubt on their own powers of judgment.

The Perfect Lie Starts Within


These types of lies are perfect not only because they are the most difficult to pick apart, but also because they are at once offensive and defensive. They protect the liar and indirectly (or directly, considering how malicious the intent is of the deceiver) attack the accuser in such an effective manner that often these types of lies cut down on the amount of times you have to lie later.

Before you can lie like this, we have to begin with the basics and build up to more advanced concepts. First I’ll introduce my two basic philosophies about lying successfully.

“It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove.”
- Alonzo Harris, Training Day

“It’s not a lie if you believe it.”
George Costanza, Seinfield

Let these ideas seep into your heart and mind really become part of you. If you want to consistantly lie with success then you must fully understand that your primary goal is to create a new set of facts and reality that the person that you are lying to believes without a doubt. And before you are able to convince someone else to believe something new, you must first fully believe it yourself. Let’s go further and discuss how to achieve both of these things.

First, you have to believe what you are saying to the person is true. When someone comes across as a bad liar, this is usually the part that has been neglected. I personally feel that this is the most important aspect of lying. Actually, this part of lying might be more important

Your brain--the one that controls every action that you make--is a truly amazing thing that will decide to believe exactly what you want it to. The evidence for this is excessive. A hypnotist can make a person believe anything they want them to about themselves and even if you don’t buy into that, I’m sure you have had (or know someone that has) an experience where you a remember an event differently from someone else.

If you gave your account of the event, you would not exhibit some of the telltale signs that someone who is lying would and neither would the person who has a conflicting recollection of the event. Obviously one of you is lying, but because you both believe your versions of the story, you wouldn't come off as a liar to anyone you told it to. This is the power of your mind.

Repitition Makes a Good Lie

The easiest way to convince yourself of any set of facts or story you want to tell is repetition. Just keep saying the story over and over to yourself, both out loud and in your head. After saying what you’ll say a few times over, next begin to add movement and motion.

You’ll want to practice telling your lie a number of times as if you are right in front of the person. You are an actor, and the key to your success is getting your lines perfect. The more times you are able to rehearse mentally and physically, the more comfortable you get with your story. It becomes a lot like self-hypnosis and you truly begin to believe what you are saying.

Way to go, you have completed the first step of creating a good lie: convincing yourself that it is not a lie; it's reality.

So far, this may seem like a lot of work for you get away with cheating regularly, but these are just the basics. We are crafting the habit of lying perfectly. These parts don’t actually have to take a lot of time, especially if you are telling a simple lie like, “That must have been a wrong number,” or “I was just out with some friends.”

Now, by my standards those are not good lies, content wise, but if you mastered the presentation of them, then you would probably stand to do a lot better at convincing someone of the truth. Remember the point of lying is not to fix a situation temporarily, but to create and maintain a reality that you want others to accept without question. Keep this in mind as you read through the articles on how to lie.