How to Mend and Having Ideas for Fixing a Broken Relationship With Your Ex Love Partner?

How to mend and having ideas for fixing a broken relationship with your ex love partner?

Right now your ex girlfriend has in all likelihood not left your thoughts for any more time than it takes to eat or sleep, and even then you probably dream about her. It’s never far from your mind. How do you get your ex back? There’s scores of relationship problem advice I can give you to help you cope with the pain right now, but your basic thoughts are probably on how to get her back in your arms again. I’m here to present you a few ways to improve your chances of moving on from a broken relationship.

One of the foremost things you need to do once you’re beginning over after a broken love relationship is get off of your couch or bed or wherever you’ve spent these last few days and start living your life again. Call up your friends and have a “Guys Night Out”. Spending some time out with your friends even if you just hang out or do a big group activity like bowling or going to a bar can do marvels for you right now. The distraction will show you there’s more out there in this world than just your ex.

Below are ten ways to quickly recover from breaking up (or a break-up), get your life back on track and guarantee a bright relationship future for yourself.

Breaking up is a devastating ordeal for most people.  Recovery from breaking up can be a difficult, treacherous road.  At times, people don't recover at all.  Others, although appearing to be past their breaking up, still carry the pain of the breakup and the fear of getting close to a partner again.

Here is a different way to approach breaking up recovery, a way that will allow you to deeply heal.  The following 10 steps will show you how to recreate your life and your relationships to be far more fulfilling then before the breaking up.

1. Grieve deeply and completely.

Many times people are terrified of dark feelings, such as sadness, depression, anger, etc.  The intensity of these feelings can seem strong enough to take a hold of your soul forever.  The key point to remember and trust is that although these feelings are indeed strong, they will not last forever.  Nor will feeling these feelings in some way damage you or destroy you. You will feel better once you allow yourself to feel.  24 FREE Breakup & Relationship eBooks

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2.  Grieve the future your marriage had, which now will never be.

When people marry, many dreams and hopes are created.  These are not simple to let go of, because we use dreams and hopes to guide us to our future. Find out what dreams and hopes were in your marriage.  Then separately grieve each one.  Know that your dreams and hopes are not dead.  You will recreate them again with someone else or for you alone.

3. Identify and spend time with the people in your life who know how to listen to your feelings with complete love and acceptance.

When recovering from breaking up, or any devastating loss, it is critical for you to be allowed to speak your mind, as much and as often as you need to.  Many people are not comfortable listening to other's dark emotions.  Listening to someone else's anger, fear or grief often makes us afraid that their emotions will overtake us.  This is why seemingly loving, caring people often try to "fix" us when we share about painful feelings. It is important that you are not interrupted or given advice - speaking is how you will heal.

4. Understand what happened in the relationship.

In order for you to be able to come to terms with the breaking up and to move on to creating a wonderful life, you need to understand what happened to lead to the breakup. This is the part of your journey where you will have to be extremely honest with yourself.  It will do you no good to blame your ex-spouse or yourself for the breaking up.  You need to clearly understand the dynamic you and your spouse created together.  You need to clearly trace the threads of the events that lead to the animosity or the cooling of in the relationship.

5. Understand why you chose your former spouse to be your partner.

People choose relationships for many different reasons, the most popular being "love".  What most consider being in love is not love at all?  Here are some of the reasons why people choose each other: A deep need to be wanted. A life-long struggle to meet someone like his/her parents and save them or change them

A fear of being alone. Infatuation. Material security. For the good of the children, etc.

If you can honestly examine and understand why you chose your partner, you will be able to see the beginnings of the breaking up at the inception of the relationship.  You will also start to build tools to be able to choose differently the next time around.

6. Forgive your partner, forgive yourself.

Now it's time to forgive.  Understand that you and your partner did the best both of you could.  Understand that even when you were doing things to hurt each other, it was still the best you could do at the time.  Perhaps the painful actions came out of self-defence, or self-preservation.  Perhaps they came out of revenge for the pain you felt the other was inflicting. Forgiveness is a sure way to free you up to have a wonderful life in the future.

7. Create distance between you and your ex- partner.  Spend 3 to 6 months with no contact.

One thing that is so difficult about breaking up is no longer having another person around, no longer having your best friend and confidant.  It is difficult to let go of the everyday interactions and the friendship.  And yet, if you are to heal well, you must create 3 to 6 months of no contact (or as little contact as possible) with your former spouse.  This will give you the opportunity to grieve and work through your anger.  It will also allow the relationship between you and your ex-partner to begin again (if at all) on a different footing.

8. Create a supportive community.

Going through breaking up means you have just lost your best friend and partner.  You need to be listened to. You need to know that you are wanted and loved.  For these reasons, having a supportive community is critical to your recovery from breaking up.  A community can be a church or synagogue group, an on-line community or a group of friends whom you ask to support you.  Make sure that your community clearly knows that you need their support and how you need to be supported.

9. Resolve to learn everything about you and relationships.

If you are to create a better relationship in the future, without repeating the same mistakes, you need to understand and examine every aspect of relationships in regard to yourself.  You need to know what you want in a relationship, what kind of partner would be best suited for you, what you absolutely need in order to feel satisfied, and what you absolutely will not accept.

10. Take great care of yourself in the process

Breaking up or break-up recovery is a stressful, painful and life-changing process.  When people are going through fundamental life changes, they must take care of themselves extremely well. A good rule of thumb is to treat yourself as if you have a slight cold - delegate or reduce your workload, eat well, exercise gently and get lots of rest.  Add in extras like a massage, taking a creative class, doing activities that you consider fun, etc.

Although recovering from breaking up is not easy, you will succeed and come out of the process much better for it, if you follow the above systematic approach.  Much success to you!

Indeed, life is short. Don't let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.

I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.

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