Wow. You two really click when you're together. So to her it's only natural that you finally meet her friends.
"Great, can't wait", you tell her as you break into a cold sweat. You check your calendar in the hopes you have a dentist appointment that week. No such luck.
Is it that stressful? It can be. Her friends are very important to her and their opinions have the potential of making or breaking the relationship. For that reason it's crucial that you make a good impression and gain their trust.
The first step is to introduce yourself. It tells her friends you have confidence and cannot be intimidated. Intimidation equals manipulation equals no respect and her friends aren't going to go to bat for you if they don't respect you. Taking the initiative also lets her friends know you are not just putting on an act because your girlfriend insists you meet them.
Once you get acquainted with her friends do everything possible to remember their names but more than that, DON'T mix up their names later on. It doesn't matter if they all dress and act alike; calling one of her friends by the wrong name is a major gaffe. How bad is it? It's almost as bad as calling your girlfriend by the wrong name (ouch!). Use whatever word association tricks you need to keep the names straight.
You're in it now so don't sit there like a statue. Get involved in the conversation .This shows that you are interested in getting to know them. Don't hog the conversation but take an active part. Your girlfriend will appreciate the effort and more important her friends will have no reason not to like you...in the beginning at least (Hey that's life. You're trying to be Mr. Wonderful not Captain Perfect).
Now comes the balancing act. Your girlfriend may want you to take an interest in her friends but don't go overboard. Getting to know her friends is one thing but if she senses you're flirting (and women are very in tune to that sort of thing) or ignoring her in your effort to be friendly, it can cause problems or doom the relationship. Exercise caution when meeting her friends. Take an interest but not too much.
Listen carefully when you meet her friends for the first time. Try to hang on to as much information about them as possible. After the meeting when you're alone with your girlfriend, make a casual comment or ask a question RELATED to the earlier meeting. This lets her know that you were listening and that you have a real interest in getting to know her friends. Again this is a balancing act but for the most part you can pretty much figure that saying "you're friend with the blue dress and cute dimples looked hot" is asking for trouble.
Your girlfriend's buddies are probably going to play a significant role in whether or not the relationship survives. Yes, it can seem like one long job interview but try to make a genuine effort to get to know her friends. Since you will probably be spending quite a bit of time with them, starting a courteous, respectful relationship can only make your girlfriend happy and your life a whole lot easier.
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Frequently Asked Questions
My girlfriend is on my house title but not on the ...
By: tftp10 | 14-07-2008
my girlfriend is on my house title but not on the mortgage note what rights do i have
Your Opinions on this Lost Love
By: Scarecrow | 06-07-2008
ok, to start off, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 [and 1/2] months and we finally broke up. I fell in love with her the first time i saw her [literally]. But the problem was she didnt love me back. Hence, i spent countless hours and won her heart. She loved me [as far as i can tell]. the first five months were splended. But in that five months, i realized that she was quite immature [she was actually rather younger than me...]. But i loved her way to much to let her imatureity affect our relationship. And it wasnt like she was retarded either... But after the 6th month, she stopped spending time with me. She would hang around with her friends all the time. I mean, she I'm cool if she hangs around with her friends some of the time... but she completely stopped speding time with me. But she talked to me normally and hugged me and all of the other bf and gf shit. i started hinting her that i needed a little more attention. I'm pretty sure she figured it out. But never the less, she kept on ignoring me. In the early months of our relationship, she used to be attached to me quite tight. But now, all of a sudden, i became invisible to her. I kinda got that hint that she wasnt interested in me anymore. And i thought the best thing i can do to make her happy was to let her go. And i did. I broke up with her the nicest way i could. I told her that we should go our seperate ways. I also told her that she's a beautiful girl and she would have no trouble finding another indavidual who would love her to death. I start moving on and flirt with other girls. But then again she calls me, crying on the phone, saying she wants to get back with me. Normally i would say "no" but i really really love her and cant live when there's tears in her eyes. But nothing changed. Even though we were boyfriend and girlfriends, she still kept on ignoring me. she would spend a shitload of time with her friends and 0seconds with me. I thought this time, i'd just try to talk to her about it. She nodded. And at the end of the week in which her and i got back together, she said she wants to break up with me. I hugged her and said goodbye. I'm pretty sure she got back with me the second time only to break my heart. But i didnt bring it up to her. I just wanted her to be happy. If she becomes happy from my broken heart, then so be it. But now, she wants to be "friends". Thats rather hard for me to accpet. I stopped talking to her. And one day she even asks me "do you like hate me or something..?". I said "no". I dont hate her. But i dont think if she loved me in the first place, she'd break my heart and play with me. Do you all think i made the right decisions? Is there something else i shoudl've done to make the relationship last longer? Is all of this shit my fault? P.S. - I tried my best to treat her really well. I bought her flowers [the reddest of all red roses....]. I Wrote sweet love notes and dropped them in her locker. I bought her stuffed animals. I gave her all sorts of things to let her know how much she means to me.
I've been going out with my girlfriend for about ...
By: hopeful | 01-07-2008
I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 10 months, just yesterday I got back from celebrating her college graduation party. We are really close and we both say we love each other, I am even planning on going to grad school in the same state she plans on going to work. We are engaged to marry in a year. However at the party I had brought her digital camera, she forgot it, and I was showing her mom some pictures we had taken of the party, when suddenly I come across a few pictures that show her with another man, and he is kissing her on the cheek. This didn't bother me until I looked at the time and dates of the pictures. They were taken when we had been going out for about 5 months, and they were all after 8p.m. I forgot where I was at the time. I don't know if she cheated on me but I know that on the same day she was upset at me, and had taken a picture of us around 3p.m. and was still wearing the same clothing as when the pictures taken later at 8p... I'm afraid to ask about it because it might be nothing. However I don't want to not ask and let it bug me. Should I ask her about it or not? p.s. she is having a very hard time finding a job right now and almost had a mental breakdown, I'm afraid to push her off the edge. I'm still in pursuing my education...so when should I ask her about the pictures?
My gf is giving up on us.
By: Lio | 14-06-2008
MY GF gave me some chances on some issues that we couldnt fix.i love her so much she said she thinks its best we dont stay together for the good of both of us..she said she still loves me..i dont want to lose her..i asked for one last chance to prove myself i said ( i know ive been wrong but please allow me to have one last chance to fix it up..i promise i will) and she says shes given me too many chances and that she?s loved me but i always disrespect her .. what do i doo!? i love her i dont want to lose her please help
How to tell if my girlfriend is cheating on me
By: Dea | 10-06-2008
My girlfriend and I have been dating since november. We started off as best friends and took our relationship further. Lately she has been talking to me as much as use to. She left for Texas a few weeks ago cause she said she wanted to see her cousin. And since she has been down there she says can only text because she doesnt get minutes out of state(in other words she has to be in her home state to use it). I havent seen her since 2 days before she left for Texas. I was going to see her that morning before she left but she told me when she got up, after knowing the night before we had plans, that she had to finish packing. Since then she has only text me and called me twice for like 2-3 mins.(we use to talk for hours) There have been days before when we were going to hang out and she canceled the last minute because "someing came up". Is she cheating on me? Are there any tips that can given as to what i should do? I will take any advice!!!
Please help!
By: Molly | 17-05-2008
I like this boy names Michael. And he likes my friend Gianna. So, one day when we were on a field trip, Gianna, me and my other friend Dionna were sitting together on the bus. Michael was across from us in eyesight. All 4 of us are pretty good friends. So we were just playing around and all and Michael just kept saying he had something to say but it was embarrassing. So finally he told Gianna. He asked if she wanted to be his girlfriend! WOW! Gianna told me and Dionna later when we got back to school 'cause she didn't want to embarrass Michael. Of course, being a good friend, Gianna, as she knew I liked him, said no to Michael. She actually didn't like him anyway! I feel really bad for Michael. I mean being turned down hurts bad. Let me mind you, were in 4th grade!!!! OMG is what your probably saying. LOL! Well I just need to know if I should tell him that I like him or have a friend do it. I am just terrified he will tell everyone that I like him and I'll get embarrassed. PLEASE HELP!!!XOXOXOMolly
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