Dan Bacon is the CEO of TheModernMan.com who provide dating advice for men. Dating Book, Dating For Dummies, Dating Books Dating Advice For Men Dating Tips For Shy Guys
I'm going to talk today about 'Achieving the Magnetic Balance' in your interactions, dates and relationships with women.
Because each woman and situation is different, being able to create and maintain a magnetic balance in an interaction or relationship is something that requires plenty of practice and real-life experience.
For example: If you are too aloof, too cold or too selfish and don't show any feelings toward a woman, she will naturally seek to pick up the slack elsewhere, possibly from other men.
Aim for a balance between meeting and not meeting her needs. She will be happier for longer because there will be an ongoing challenge/magnetism.
General rule of thumb: Don't try to be Mr. Perfect. It won't work and is likely to backfire over time.
On the other hand, if you are too available and latch on to a woman like a lovesick puppy, you will become predictable, represent less of a challenge and create a 'stuck' feeling inside of her.
So what should you do to maintain the attraction and interest of a woman?
a) Never latch on too tight.
b) Never push her away too far.
Interestingly, humans are always testing and checking to see how much or how little a person likes them by observing the other person's body language, behaviors, actions and words.
A woman will often test to see if you've 'latched onto her', by asking you questions like:
- Do you like me?
- Are we good together?
- Have you been thinking about me?
- Did you miss me?
- Do you love me?
- Do you want to be with other women?
Although women may consciously verbalize that they want a guy to say nice things and express his feelings, doing so will diminish the intensity of a woman's attraction for you over time.
So, give her the gift of a magnetic balance by sometimes putting funny spins on her questions or by ignoring them altogether.
For example, if a woman asks the cliche question of "Have you been thinking about me?" you can playfully reply with something like...
You: Who are you again?
Woman: C'mon! I've been thinking about you... have you been thinking about me?
You: Well, I have been thinking about how I want you to give me a massage... I like the way you do that...and if you're good I might just do that thing you like afterward.
Here's another way to approach it:
Her: Did you miss me?
You: You were gone? Oh, yeah I remember you!
Her: C'mon! Did you miss me?
You: Terribly! In fact, I missed you so much that...that...
Her: That what?
You: Well... so much, that I've written you a ten-page love letter. Want me to read it to you?
Her: Hehe...umm, ok.
You: Ok, here goes...Rebecca...the feelings I have for you are so intense...I really....really...hate you...I think we should break up...(start laughing here).
Her: Oh! You!
Here's yet another way to approach it.
Her: Have you been thinking about me?
You: (Pause) ...Hey check this out (and then start talking about something else e.g. what happened at work that day, a movie you saw, etc).
The irony is that the guys who do this are the ones who get the girls saying, "I don't know what it is about him. I just can't stop thinking about him."
Give your woman the gift of missing you, wanting you and chasing you. It will be worth more to her than any diamond ring, expensive dinner or 'I love you' teddy ever will.
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